|Its OK to not always like what you see in the mirror|
The long term effects of surrounding yourself with people who are comfortable in their own skin has so many benefits to your well being but it can also bring with it certain pressures. Its important to recognise that freedom from poor self image is a different journey for everyone.
Its easy to worry that having been taken into the bosom of the plus size community to feel anything other than super body confident is to be a let down. After all if you genuinely see beauty in fat bodies how can you have days when you don't like your own? If you use hashtags such as #bodypositive and #effyourbeautystandards how can you square the fact that occasionally you feel lumpy or bloated?
Its certainly something I have grappled with.
99% of the time I really like what I see in the mirror but occasionally I might be wearing an outfit that makes me feel frumpy or have been unable to exercise so feel that I am over my ideal weight (yes fat women also have a size they feel good at) or I may be tagged in a photo on facebook with flat hair, no neck and a greasy face and yes I will have a "god I feel rubbish day" this doesn't make me any less body positive, this makes me human.
Learning to filter out the billion messages we receive every day telling us that unless we fit a prescribed ideal we are ugly and disgusting, takes some mad skills. Its to be expected that occasionally we won't feel like wearing a crop top and sissying that walk.
Acknowledging you are temporarily dissatisfied with your appearance doesn't make you less body positive, in fact as you grow to love your body its quite natural that you may demand more from it.
I used to feel I never looked nice so it wasn't a question of having a bad body "day"that was my constant frame of mind.
Nowadays if I have a few days of being less than thrilled with what I see in the mirror I am able to have a rational dialogue with myself rather than just raining self hate on my head. Why do I feel so rubbish? What's got under my skin? Am I taking good enough care of myself? Am I being too swayed by others? Do I need my roots doing?
|Thats better-upload to instagram and hashtag that baby up|
Embracing being plus size doesn't mean you have to subscribe to any particular way of being. You are no more letting the side down by deciding to lose a few pounds than you are by deciding never to diet again.
Falling in love with exercise doesn't make you a traitor to the cause in just the same way that being fat doesn't mean you need to constantly quantify your size with "but I eat really well and work out three times a week" as fat women we owe nobody any explanations-no exceptions.
All political movements start with an extreme, its necessary, and rejecting the so called norms of what society told us was the ideal way to be a woman was essential and remains a vital framework for the plus size world. What I'm beginning to realise is we can become more nuanced and thoughtful about how we judge our bodies.
Acknowledging that even body positive feminist warrior women have "everything looks rubbish on me" days is as far as I'm concerned perfectly OK. Tomorrow will be better.A different outfit, a good laugh and a super flattering selfie will have you walking tall again (or tiny as is my case) in no time.
Self love is a marathon, not a sprint. Its fine to stumble along the way-the finish line is still there full of happy beaming faces, not least your own.
Check out my Youtube channel for lots of vlogs, reviews and general body loving chat.
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