Monday, 17 August 2015

You can be body positive and have bad body image days-its OK

When you first discover the body positive community, it is incredibly liberating. To finally find a safe space. A place where your fashion sense, style and overall awesomeness is celebrated without the usual caveat of "you are pretty for a fat girl" it is wonderful.
Its OK to not always like what you see in the mirror

The long term effects of surrounding yourself with people who are comfortable in their own skin has so many benefits to your well being but it can also bring with it certain pressures. Its important to recognise that freedom from poor self image is a different journey for everyone.
Its easy to worry that having been taken into the bosom of the plus size community to feel anything other than super body confident is to be a let down. After all if you genuinely see beauty in fat bodies how can you have days when you don't like your own?  If you use hashtags such as #bodypositive and #effyourbeautystandards how can you square the fact that occasionally you feel lumpy or bloated? 
Its certainly something I have grappled with. 
99% of the time I really like what I see in the mirror but occasionally I might be wearing an outfit that makes me feel frumpy or have been unable to exercise so feel that I am over my ideal weight (yes fat women also have a size they feel good at) or I may be tagged in a photo on facebook with flat hair, no neck and a greasy face and yes I will have a "god I feel rubbish day" this doesn't make me any less body positive, this makes me human. 
Learning to filter out the billion messages we receive every day telling us that unless we fit a prescribed ideal we are ugly and disgusting, takes some mad skills. Its to be expected that occasionally we won't feel like wearing a crop top and sissying that walk.
Acknowledging you are temporarily dissatisfied with your appearance doesn't make you less body positive, in fact as you grow to love your body its quite natural that you may demand more from it. 
I used to feel I never looked nice so it wasn't a question of having a bad body "day"that was my constant frame of mind.
Nowadays if I have a few days of being less than thrilled with what I see in the mirror I am able to have a rational dialogue with myself rather than just raining self hate on my head. Why do I feel so rubbish? What's got under my skin? Am I taking good enough care of myself? Am I being too swayed by others? Do I need my roots doing?
Thats better-upload to instagram and hashtag that baby up

Embracing being plus size doesn't mean you have to subscribe to any particular way of being. You are no more letting the side down by deciding to lose a few pounds than you are by deciding never to diet again. 
Falling in love with exercise doesn't make you a traitor to the cause in just the same way that being fat doesn't mean you need to constantly quantify your size with "but I eat really well and work out three times a week" as fat women we owe nobody any explanations-no exceptions.
All political movements start with an extreme, its necessary, and rejecting the so called norms of what society told us was the ideal way to be a woman was essential and remains a vital framework for the plus size world. What I'm beginning to realise is we can become more nuanced and thoughtful about how we judge our bodies.
Acknowledging that even body positive feminist warrior women have "everything looks rubbish on me" days is as far as I'm concerned perfectly OK. Tomorrow will be better.A different outfit, a good laugh and a super flattering selfie will have you walking tall again (or tiny as is my case) in no time.
Self love is a marathon, not a sprint. Its fine to stumble along the way-the finish line is still there full of happy beaming faces, not least your own.


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7 comments:

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  2. Pinkmoo17 August 2015 at 21:23
    Thanks for this.... It's nice to remember it's okay, big smooches xxxx

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  3. Thank you for being so honest. Being body positive has been so liberating and empowering for me that it has even changed my perspective on weight loss. In the past, in order to loose weight I would have rejected my 'unhealthy' body and aspired to be slim. Now, I love my body wether I gain weight or loose it. Having put on a lot of weight in the last 2 months I feel over my ideal weight and therefor need to cut back on the crap food I've been eating. Two days ago I started a body positive weight loss journey and what's so beautiful is not only my relaxed attitude towards my body but also towards food.

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  4. So glad I'm not the only one who has off days, and it doesn't make me a body-positivity traitor for having them.

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  5. Your honesty is absolutely amazing. Thank you.

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  6. You are amazing, and so bang on too. I think there is absolutely an idea that if you are body positive then you never have off days, I really value your honestly, it makes me feel normal!

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  7. Great post! It is only to be human to have days where you don't feel as positive as usual. X

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