Sunday, 29 March 2015

5 Fat Fashion Failures

Plus size clothing is getting better right? Well yes and no. 
Sure it fantastic that there is more choice than ever before and that you no longer have to re mortgage your house to buy a pair of jeans over a size 16  but all is not perfect in fatty fashionland. Here are my top fat fashion failures.

I got ninety nine problems but Polyester aint one

Until recent times the most common use of polyester was making bottles for fizzy pop. I would hazard a guess that since the explosion in the plus size clothing market, garment creation is catching up because man so much stuff in my size is in polyester. 
As time goes by my dislike of this fabric grows. Its sweaty, its got a nasty shiny texture and quite honesty I'm always afraid to stand near any naked flames for fear of going up like a Roman candle. Hey here is an idea, lets throw some cottons and silks in the mix or maybe even just keep the poly count to oh I don't know less than 100%

Belt Up

So here's the thing. When I buy my size 20 dress guess what size I need my belt to be in? Any guesses? yep that's right-the same. 
The amount of times I have brought outfits featuring jaunty belts and they are obviously at least two sizes too small and work better as a trendy bracelet. Grrrr

Pointless Peplums

I quite like a peplum. On certain tops and dresses it adds a 1980's je ne sais quoi and is a great way to give the illusion of an hour glass figure if like me you are more Ursula the sea witch than Jessica Rabbit in the figure stakes. But for the love of all things holy they don't need to be added to everything. 
The plus size clothing industry always do this, it happened with the "Illusion dress" one minute it was a cool quirky design the next you couldn't leave the house without tripping over a dress with a different coloured centre panel. 
The regular size fashion industry doesn't churn out the same shapes season after season and neither should ours. So dear plus size fashion designers the next time a peplum is being considered ask yourself, does this garment need it? does it look perfectly fine without one? if the answer is yes take that extra frill of material and makes a comical ruff for your dog instead.

Size Trials

Guys can we just decide what constitutes each size and all just get along?
 I do a lot of my clothing shopping online and sure I know I should measure but I am often buying clothes on my phone in a queue for a sandwich or sneakily at a work meeting so whipping out a tape measure isn't always practical.
 So when stuff arrives and it wont fit over my head or has so much extra fabric in I could comfortably house a grumble of pugs in the excess its beyond annoying.
Duel sizing is also a tricky beast. It makes my brain hurt. Its like throwing down all your money on red. Its such a gamble especially when ordering online. Do I go conservative and go for the upper size? or will I end up being swamped in fabric? So please fair people of fat clothing land I beg you, reach an industry agreed standard on all clothes sizes and stick to them.
I don't need vanity sizing, I just need clothes that are uniformly a certain size.I hate looking the same as everyone else but in this instance I'm happy to follow the herd if that herd will stop me having to constantly queue at the post office to return things.

Plus Size Ranges That aren't really Plus size

There is nothing crueller (well except world hunger and child poverty perhaps) than a brand banging the drum about their exciting new plus size range, leaking pictures pre launch, sending out glossy look books only for it to be revealed that it only goes up to a size 22. That sound? its the sound of gloriously full figured babes all over the land crying because none of it comes in their size. Its the double insult"yes its plus size but er not as plus size as you" I run a tiny tee shirt company which has a commitment to not using materials that are the result of poor working practices or child labour so to that end I buy everything from the UK and guess what, I can still offer up to a size 5XL with little to no effect on margins. My point? it can be done. Retailers take note. 
My bloglovin feed is full of posts from sassy plussies creating lists of "what they would have brought" had it been available over a size 22. Its insane.If you build it, they will come.

So they are my top five fat fashion failures-what are yours?

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