Saturday, 7 February 2015

Finding Your Own Plus Size Style

One question I get asked a lot is "how did you decide on your own personal style?" I know from the many emails I receive that women can really struggle with knowing what suits them and getting out of a style rut.
I experienced my own crisis of confidence after I had my little girl. In a moment of sleep deprived madness I cut my hair into a bob (easier to look after) and started living in a uniform of tunic tops, jeans and ugg boots. 
In times square New York  with a sleeping baba-I had lost my fashion compass and wasnt happy

I looked like every other mum at the mother and baby groups I attended and whilst I absolutely hated it I wasn't sure how to regain my style confidence. 
At 35 I wondered if I was too old to be fussing with fashion, maybe mumsy and low key was how it was supposed to be?
The cycle was broken after about eight months when by chance I saw a 1940's inspired dress in Next and brought it. When I tried it on  it felt like coming home. 
I suddenly saw my reflection for the first time in a while. Other than a shockingly bad haircut and a severe lack of make up I looked great. I wasn't old, I was just beginning. I  rediscovered my  fashion mojo and have never looked back.
As I built my confidence I found adding accessories really helped develop my creative side without feeling too full on. I still pay a lot of attention to what I wear with outfits and today is no exception.
Take one dress

This gingham skater dress £15 by Yours is quite a simple little number. Black top, gingham skirt and a fairly predictable skater cut. Nothing wrong with that but I like my outfits to have a bit more zing.
To this end I have added a fur scarf,a black patent Vivienne Westwood bag and a pair of french navy Mary Janes  I have finished it off with a shrug by Simply be £32

Accessories can transform even the simplest of outfits

With just a few additions I have turned something fairly simple into an outfit entirely individual to me. I now know that no one will be wearing this exact same look and this pleases me no end.
By adding the fur stole and designer handbag this everyday outfit now feels glamorous and striking.

Me and my pug shadow
If you have found my blog because you are on the cusp of changing the way you dress, maybe you are bored by what you wear everyday or feel you have lost your way and fear ridicule if you try bolder, more dynamic looks then start slowly. Play with accessories and new shapes. Even the addition of a statement necklace to an otherwise all black outfit can change your look completely and as you gain confidence (and start to receive compliments because believe me nothing is more attractive than someone who owns their personal style) you will start to love the process of getting dressed in the morning.

learn to love getting dressed in the morning

For loads of outfit inspiration check out my other outfit posts.Proof if it was ever needed that fat women in their forties can actually look pretty damn amazing.

Photos by Nicky Rockets

Looking for the perfect Valentines Gift ? How about a Nicky Rockets Tee shirt.

Only £15,designed and made in the UK and a celebration of the power of the curvy woman. So much cooler than a 3 for 2 offer at Boots! Available in sizes small-5XL Shop here

All content (text, photos and other) are the property of Betty Pamper (aka Perelandra Beedles) unless otherwise stated. Please refrain from copying any material without recognition of the author and a link to the source on this blog


  1. It's only after reading blogs like yours that I've realised it's ok, as a middle aged fat mum, to let out my inner rock/indie chick/goth and to stop caring what other people think. You are inspirational.
    Loving 50s style frocks, fake fur and biker boots. And when I do wear mumsy tunics, it's with lashings of red lippy, dr martens and loads of attitude! Today I'm in an ASOS tuille skirt, fake leopard jacket and biker boots. Love it!

  2. I love this article. This is how I was until a month ago. For four years since my daughter was born I've neglected me. Lost my sense of uniqueness and style. It was a conversation with a work colleague who has terminal cancer that woke me up. I thought do I really want to spend the rest of my life feeling drab and dull or do I want to express myself like I did before. I'm almost 40 and had written myself off entirely. I then realised life is short. I'm not going to spend it blending in anymore. Wear the dress, get the tattoo, dye your hair bright red! Whatever makes you feel amazing just do it because you don't know what's round the corner. Thanks Betty x

  3. As always a great post, I can so relate in so many ways! I hit 40 and it was like something clicked, and I have yet to, and don't plan to, look back..... On another note..... I NEED that scarf!!!!! Looking good lady and, as if you wouldn't, keep up the good work! xxx

  4. Such a great post honey, so relatable. I love that Yours dress.

    Laura xxx

  5. When I first gained weight I hid myself in baggy hoodies and boyfriend fit jeans. Luckily, a friend was there to snap me out of it and bullied me back into pretty dresses ... I'm still so very thankful to have such a wonderful friend that was prepared to tell me that I looked frumpy when I should be embracing and flaunting my voluptuous figure!

    C xx

  6. Am 40 next month and I decided that actually high heels and girly girl stuff just isn't my thing. It's clumpy boots (as my mum would say) so I have treated myself to a pair of classic Docs and a pair of their Lauren calf boots with lots of buckles and straps. Worn with a skater dress and leggings and I feel like a kick ass princess. I may not have a signature style (I don't feel the need for one) but I am choosing to wear clothes that I only really love and make me feel good.

  7. Since I've put on a lot of weight I have to admit I'm hiding in leggings/jeggings and tunic type tops, I'm trying to find my style but still hating my body at the moment and wanting to hide it. Reading your blog definitely helps with my body confidence though.


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