Thursday, 9 October 2014

How To Turn Your Words Into Actions, Your Actions Into Habits, Your Habits Into Prayer

Since starting this blog over seven years ago the sentence I have undoubtedly heard more than any other is:
"I wish I had your confidence"
This isn't delivered in a snarky way (well occasionally it has been but "whateva" as ver kids say) Its usually a rather wistful observation by women who feel that somehow I was born with an extra sprinkling of sass, a bit more fire in my belly, a thicker skin, more Chutzpah.
The reality is that actually being comfortable in my own skin and being more worried about how I feel than how others do when it comes to my appearance has been a habit I have picked up over time.
Yes a habit like smoking or working out or picking your nose. A reflex, a routine of sorts.

I started small, fatty Rome wasn't built in day and through small changes came bigger ones.
I believe that if you write it you should be it. You can't be all preachy and fist punching about being body positive behind the safety of your keyboard and then melt into a puddle the next time a shop assistant disses you or someone snigger's behind your back at the swimming pool.I love being a contradiction, a living breathing representation of a strong, beautiful, successful fat woman. To this end I do the following:

I wear stripes

Earning My Stripes

I do this because I like them and because for as long as I can remember I have been told I shouldn't. Here I am doing my best Michelle Visage impression (one for all you Rupaul fans out there)

I dress up as non "buxom" cosplay characters

No bunny ears required

I regularly dress up in costumes which do not follow the tedious fat girl archetypes of playboy bunny, busty wench or french maid (yawn) yes I have big boobs no that doesn't mean I can't play make believe as characters that were originally drawn or played by slimmer women. To this end I have been Batgirl, wonderwoman, even Judge Dredd. Why? because I want to.

I show my dimpled legs off

Attack of the dimply legged woman

Life is too short to live in leggings or tights. Occasionally I will buy a skirt or dress which shows that I have fat legs. For some reason this seems to enrage certain quarters of the Internet, in particular women who think I should "put it away" No I shall not.

I wear Tight clothes

Tight Fit

I spent years dressing "cleverly" which seems to translate that I must be straight jacketed into tailoring, black trousers and tunics. I'm already clever, I'm a senior university lecturer my clothing doesn't need to be smart too.My body has shape and whilst I hope showing that off doesn't offend you, if it does I will still continue to live my life unaffected by your opinion. As the saying goes, if you dont pay my rent you don't get a say (and to be honest even if you did pay my rent you can still jog on)

I wear sparkles and garish pattern
I'm like a magpie, if it sparkles or is colourful I want it on my body. My shape and age apparently make this a very poor style choice. Oh well.

I exercise in public

Yes, yes knob jockeys, the teshirt was a joke-settle down dears

Despite the myth of lazy fatness perpetrated the likes of Dr Hilary on This morning lots of fat chicks exercise. I'm one of them and happily go to zumba classes, jog round the park or go for a swim. I can honestly say no one has ever batted an eyelid and the only fat exercise hate I have encountered was from a particularly sad thread on Reddit. My choice of tee shirt (and of wearing full make up to jog in) was just the final straw for a group of total strangers who have never met me. Whats that on the horizon I see, oh it the massive amount of fucks I honestly don't give.

I show my arms

Yes I have wobbly upper arms. Has this stopped me carrying a child in them,hugging my family or using them to earn a living-no. So when its hot out they come. What happens, er well nothing. No one cares. Why would they.

Let me throw my loving arms around you

I wear clothes with pockets on the hips

I got one hand in my pocket and the other is throwing you a high five

I love a pocket. Nothing makes me happier style wise then having somewhere to jauntily put my hands or stick my lipstick in. All this despite the fact that pockets apparently make your hips look wider. I like my wide hips. They helped me push a very large baby out of my vajayjay-they are awesome, as are pockets.

I am friends with much slimmer women
Don't believe the hype, women are amazing, my friendships nourish my soul and many of my friends are much slimmer than me. Does it matter? No. Do I envy them? No. Do they feel embarrassed by my size or try and encourage me to be thinner? No because they are smart talented glamazons. Spend time with who you want to be.If your mates make you feel rubbish, ditch them.