Lumpy Space Princess: Dorophy Perkins Dress Review

Beam me up scotty

Clingy white dresses are perhaps one of the biggest plus size clothing bogeymen.
White makes you look fatter, It has none of the slimming properties of its other half black and wearing a clinging fabric in a whiter shade of pale-forget about it.
Except.. except I think it looks awesome. And actually I am the plus size myth slayer. 
Dispelling long held "wisdom" about what shapes "suit" the curvy body, cutting a sway through "top tips" about what "flatters" a larger physique.
F**k flattering-lets dive into spray on white frocks without a care in the world.
I found this dress in the closing down sale of the local Dorothy Perkins. 
As soon as I spied its vaguely sixties looking shape, its monochrome cuteness and jaunty black pockets I knew if it fitted even slightly I was having it and hurrah it did. 

Its a bit of all white

It fits perfectly-meaning it clings to my big round stomach, flattens my large boobies and emphasises my wide hips.
Yet the heart wants what the heart wants.And I want this dress.
I feel like I should be on The SS Enterprise in this get up ,my husband thinks I look like a "sexy transformer" these are all looks I actively hanker after.

I'm a sexy transformer

The dress cost a mere £5 and the futuristic necklace I'm wearing with my clingo dress is also a sale bargain. From Miss Selfridge no less, yet again a fiver. A tenners worth of body adornment making me feel splendid.

Necklace by Miss Selfridge

On my feet are my white jelly wedges from primark and my bag is my trusty Pink Birken homage by Jasper Conran.

Yes this dress is tight, yes it is white-look what happened when I wore it. Absolutely nothing. the world didn't end. people didn't crash their cars to see a short fat bird in a white dress with high lycra content, there was no clothing intervention by Trinny and Suzanna. Just me in a white dress feeling good.

Fatgirl in tight white dress-move along

Totally gratuitous picture of my Pug-Just because his face is so lovely

Am I boring you Mister Truffles

I'm really comfortable showing off my less than sleek silhouette. I also don't care that you can see the outline of my enormous pants (I'm too old to do small uncomfortable knickers)

I have abandoned so many beautiful clothes over the years because I felt self conscious and I feel a pang of guilt-what became of them? Are they in a landfill somewhere because I didn't want my double tummy roll on show? Well no more. As pugs are my witness I will never reject an item of clothing based on someone else's body snark again. I am a lumpy space princess and proud.

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