Wednesday, 16 July 2014

Jellyfish Attack aka the smiling f**K you

There is  a particular breed of person who I refer to as a "Jellyfish" 
You may remember the scene in Bridget Jones diary where a rather vile woman referred to as a jellyfish takes great enjoyment throwing little backhanded darts at Bridget-stinging like a gelatinous beast with snide observations and put downs.

How lovely if this type of person only existed in films but alas they walk among us and I have been stung a few times.
Being a fat confident woman who wears striking clothes can it seems really irritate some people. 
Whether its the deep rooted view that fatties should look only at the floor swathed in black, dumbstruck with shame over their lack of discipline or perhaps a throwback to the idea that to stand out in any way is to be a "show off" who knows but every now and then I can be caught unaware's. 
There I am living in my own little bubble, my head full of clothes, recipes, pugs and old Smiths lyrics when pow out of nowhere you feel the jab.

Here are some of my favourite ones.All delivered by separate jellyfish in entirely different social situations.

Sting # 1
Jellyfish- "I can't stop looking at your eyelashes they are extraordinary"
Me-"Thank you"
Jellyfish- "I thought only drag queens wore false lashes that long but no here you are"

Sting # 2
Me- "I am happy to volunteer to help with the kids crafts. I love anything creative
Jellyfish-"I think that's obvious by your clothes. Very wacky"

Sting # 3
Jellyfish-"What do you do for a living?"
Me-"I'm a writer"
Jellyfish-"Oh yes I've seen your blog. I'm not sure I would want to share my every waking thought with perfect strangers but good for you"

Sting # 4
Jellyfish-"Gosh it must take you hours to do your make up every morning"
Me-"No it takes me around ten minutes"
Jellyfish-"Lucky you to have ten minutes to spend on yourself first thing. I'm too busy getting the kids ready"

Now none of these interactions upset me. They mostly entertained me. Usually the jellyfish's sting comes from a place of insecurity.A need to feel superior over someone who vaguely threatens them.
The only time I won't laugh off a jellyfish attack is when it involves my family and then dear readers to borrow from Rupaul  the library is open and I will read you till you bleed.It will be Mommie Dearest at Pepsi Cola all over again.
Do you ever encounter these "Jellyfish"? How do you counteract the sting?

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  1. I totally think jellyfish moments are all about insecurity and feeling a bit jel that they dont ooze as much confidence. Sadly so many women get their kicks by disempowering (or attempting to) other women instead of just being inspired. You keep knocking them jellyfish back failing that I heard wee works ;) x

    1. Ha ha love it. Excuse me while I pee on you

  2. I believe pissing on them helps.

    I hate people using drag queen as a put down. My god are some of them beautiful ;-)

    I've definitely been victim to a few. I say victim but I'm like you in the respect of I can take it but don't even think about doing it to my family.

    1. I agree I wish I looked like a drag queen. Rupaul is my idol. Yes my family is my hard limit. Make a comment about them- hear me roar

  3. Urgh I hate this, there is on particular person that does this to me. Its often surrounding what I am having for lunch, she always asks what I am having and says'oh should be having that, that's pretty fattening' That really F**ks me off. I responded once with, yeh it is, guess we all have our vices. Hows quitting smoking going?... as she rolled her fag.

    1. Ahhhh food nazis. Usually the most unhealthy articles you will meet, living on processed crap and smoking but they are thin so are obviously trained nutritionists.

  4. If I think about it, I deal with it regularly on almost a daily basis. It's amped up now I'm pregnant.

    1. It's scary how much being pregnant seems to increase it, I noticed that too

  5. I've had very similar encounters. I was once told by a woman in a pub that I didn't deserve my husband as he was so good looking and i am so fat!! Death sting!!
    I love dressing up to go out but I definitely get more nasty comments when i am super glam and feeling awesome than when I am casual.
    Em xx

  6. Loved reading this awesome post. It got me thinking of a few jellyfish I've come into contact with.
    They're entertaining I'll agree. But it's those ones that don't even come out with the words, they just look at you and you know exactly what they're thinking. I agree with Kitty, it's all about insecurity on their part!

    MH x


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