Sunday, 27 July 2014

Dear Sir/Madam My Body Is Not A Problem To be Solved

I don't know about you but I am absolutely sick to the back teeth with having to deal with body snarking fat shamers masquerading as service providers. To this end I have written a response to a few of the worst offenders:

My Body is not a problem to be solved

Dear Air plane Cabin Crew
Come fly with us-except for you fat girl

The purpose of a seatbelt is to keep my body safely secured in its seat in the rare likelihood we crash. Said seatbelt is too tight for my fat belly. I am not prepared to die rather than face embarrassment (I'm weird like that) When I ask for a seat belt extender please refrain from smirking or shouting down the plane to your colleague to get one. Being fat does not mean I deserve to die. My body is not a problem- the length of your seatbelt is.

Dear Theme park ride operator
All the fun of the big fat fair

Despite being an overweight lazy burden on society here I am walking without losing breath, spending the money I earn (despite apparently being unemployable according to the likes of Katie Hopkins) and enjoying time with my child. I'm aware that I may not fit on all the rides but god loves a trier and if I can squeeze my booty onto the pirate ship then ahoy captain I will. 
You do not need to mutter under your breath or look affronted when I have to get off the ride because the harness wont fit.As much as I love a thrill plunging to my death on a fibreglass ship is not on my bucket list. My body is a not a problem-make your ride seats bigger.

Dear Wedding Dress Shop Assistant
I'm holding up a hand mirror so you can't see how awful you look-Ok?

Yes I understand that it is still de rigueur for brides to be to starve themselves into hollow eyed slenderness and that by presenting my fat body to you  I am possibly an affront to the entire wedding industry but I am still getting married and need a frock. Telling me that all your samples are in a size 12  and pinning a grubby piece of muslin to the back of said dress as it obviously won't do up is really humiliation enough. Rolling your eyes and looking vaguely disgusted is far more ugly than the sight of my rolls of fat encased in ill fitting polyester. My body is not a problem-get bigger sample sizes.

Dear Nurse/Doctor
Oh do take  a seat you repulsive burden to the NHS

Nowhere is it written in the Hippocratic oath that when presented with a patient over a size 14 you must A) immediately assume all heath problems are weight related and B) speak to said patient like they are a yahoo with absolutely no nutritional awareness who thinks potatoes are one of their five a day. I know you only have four minutes per patient so maybe take a breath, listen to my symptoms and then beat me around my head with my bmi. My body is not a problem-well it is but perhaps my sinus infection/in grown toenail isn't a direct result of my dress size.

These are my letters-who would you write yours to?

And if you liked this why not check out my previous "5 Fat Myths" Vlog.

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