5 Things You Should Never Say To A Fat Girl

I've lived as a fat person for most of my adult life. I am very happy with what I see in the mirror and my self esteem requires nobodies acceptance.

This does not make me immune to life's irritations though and here are five things which if I never heard again I would be just fine and dandy with

#1 But you have such a pretty face

Its hard being so beautiful

Now being told I have a pretty face is a lovely thing. I spend a lot of time painting it so praise for my artwork is always welcome. 
Where I have a problem is when it is handed as pity praise. The delivery of which tends to come in one of two flavours:
Flavour # 1-You have such a pretty face you would be off the Richter scale if you were slimmer.
Flavour # 2-obviously being fat is a bit repulsive but you have a pretty face so that's something.
You do not have to quantify your compliment.It does not mean you have questionable judgement if you find a fat girls face pretty. If you want to tell me you think I am pretty then just say so-no ifs, no buts, no gentle cajoling to lose a stone. Just hand out the damn compliment or don't.
Either works for me.

#2 You don't sweat much for a fat lass

No but I sweat a lot for a chainsaw wielding maniac-come sniff me

Don't believe the hype. Some fattys have the Niagara falls under their bra strap, others arm pits are as dry as the sahara.Fat women are not a separate species to other women. Our sweat glands do not become more over-active the higher our bmi gets.
This weird observation has been handed to me on a couple of occasions both times when I have been in workout gear obviously on my way to or from some form of exercise. 
Its another form of body shaming, the implication being  that fat bodies are generally sweatier and dirtier than thin ones. Its not funny, no one is laughing. Fuck off.

#3 She was a really big girl, much bigger than you

Oi you, yes you the body snark-shut it you muppet

Criticising someone's weight whatever their size just makes you a tool.Despite what some people believe there is no sliding scale of fatness where one dress size is considered fat but OK and the next is fat but disgusting. 
When you attack someone based on their size you are using the lowest form of spite. Reassuring someone with you that its fine because the person being discussed is in a different league of flab to them is simply an attempt to normalise body shaming. Its not normal.Its horrible. Stop it.

#4 I bet you love Adele/Dawn French/Beth Ditto

Inside this bag are the amount of effs I give about Adele-Guess how many, go on

Being fat is not a club. There are no special codes that open doors to all night pie eating clubs. We do not communicate via some kind of plus size telepathy that tips us off about special deals on clothes with elasticated waistbands. We are individuals and that means we like actors, singers and comedians of all different shapes and sizes.Don't assume we all worship at the altar of the few plus size celebrities that have broken through to the mainstream. Its as weird as asking a bloke if he is a fan of Brad Pitt because he is also male.

#5 Lets ditch the diet and be "naughty"

Just eat it-or don't

Often people who are a bit obsessed with food and diets see eating out with a fatty as an excuse to "go mad" and loosen the grip on their usual iron will when it comes to food. 
Its as if our round soft bodies are a living embodiment of appetite gone wild. Newsflash-I don't put food into "naughty" or "nice" categories or seek out excuses to gorge with abandon.
 I eat what I want when I want-that's why I'm fat. Treating a cream scone as if its one step removed from the orgy scene in Caligula is just tedious. 
I'm not a cheerleader for eating shit food so don't seek my encouragement. I don't care and no I don't want to "share chips" just order the fricking chips.

These are the five fat  things that I could happily live without ever hearing again. What are yours?

And if you liked this why not check out my previous "5 Fat Myths" Vlog.

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