Tuesday, 22 July 2014

5 Things You Should Never Say To A Fat Girl

I've lived as a fat person for most of my adult life. I am very happy with what I see in the mirror and my self esteem requires nobodies acceptance.
This does not make me immune to life's irritations though and here are five things which if I never heard again I would be just fine and dandy with

#1 But you have such a pretty face
Its hard being so beautiful

Now being told I have a pretty face is a lovely thing. I spend a lot of time painting it so praise for my artwork is always welcome. 
Where I have a problem is when it is handed as pity praise. The delivery of which tends to come in one of two flavours:
Flavour # 1-You have such a pretty face you would be off the Richter scale if you were slimmer.
Flavour # 2-obviously being fat is a bit repulsive but you have a pretty face so that's something.
You do not have to quantify your compliment.It does not mean you have questionable judgement if you find a fat girls face pretty. If you want to tell me you think I am pretty then just say so-no ifs, no buts, no gentle cajoling to lose a stone. Just hand out the damn compliment or don't.
Either works for me.

#2 You don't sweat much for a fat lass

No but I sweat a lot for a chainsaw wielding maniac-come sniff me
Don't believe the hype. Some fattys have the Niagara falls under their bra strap, others arm pits are as dry as the sahara.Fat women are not a separate species to other women. Our sweat glands do not become more over-active the higher our bmi gets.
This weird observation has been handed to me on a couple of occasions both times when I have been in workout gear obviously on my way to or from some form of exercise. 
Its another form of body shaming, the implication being  that fat bodies are generally sweatier and dirtier than thin ones. Its not funny, no one is laughing. Fuck off.

#3 She was a really big girl, much bigger than you
Oi you, yes you the body snark-shut it you muppet
Criticising someone's weight whatever their size just makes you a tool.Despite what some people believe there is no sliding scale of fatness where one dress size is considered fat but OK and the next is fat but disgusting. 
When you attack someone based on their size you are using the lowest form of spite. Reassuring someone with you that its fine because the person being discussed is in a different league of flab to them is simply an attempt to normalise body shaming. Its not normal.Its horrible. Stop it.

#4 I bet you love Adele/Dawn French/Beth Ditto
Inside this bag are the amount of effs I give about Adele-Guess how many, go on
Being fat is not a club. There are no special codes that open doors to all night pie eating clubs. We do not communicate via some kind of plus size telepathy that tips us off about special deals on clothes with elasticated waistbands. We are individuals and that means we like actors, singers and comedians of all different shapes and sizes.Don't assume we all worship at the altar of the few plus size celebrities that have broken through to the mainstream. Its as weird as asking a bloke if he is a fan of Brad Pitt because he is also male.

#5 Lets ditch the diet and be "naughty"
Just eat it-or don't
Often people who are a bit obsessed with food and diets see eating out with a fatty as an excuse to "go mad" and loosen the grip on their usual iron will when it comes to food. 
Its as if our round soft bodies are a living embodiment of appetite gone wild. Newsflash-I don't put food into "naughty" or "nice" categories or seek out excuses to gorge with abandon.
 I eat what I want when I want-that's why I'm fat. Treating a cream scone as if its one step removed from the orgy scene in Caligula is just tedious. 
I'm not a cheerleader for eating shit food so don't seek my encouragement. I don't care and no I don't want to "share chips" just order the fricking chips.

These are the five fat  things that I could happily live without ever hearing again. What are yours?

And if you liked this why not check out my previous "5 Fat Myths" Vlog.

Limited Edition Betty Pamper Tee Shirt Now On Sale
My brand new Betty Pamper tee Shirts cost £15 and are available to buy from here having curves never looked so good!

All content (text, photos and other) are the property of Betty Pamper (aka Perelandra Beedles) unless otherwise stated. Please refrain from copying any material without recognition of the author and a link to the source on this blog


  1. All I have to say is you are amazing, as always! x

  2. People who have hypothyroidism tend to sweat more because they can't regulate their body temperature efficiently. We're also much colder in winter. I wonder if the sweaty myth comes from people not being diagnosed 50-60 years ago.

  3. The thing about the pie eating club makes me kinda sad, I was hoping I'd be invited sooner or later! Otherwise a fab post :)

    Jess xo

    1. well to be honest Jess me too ha ha

  4. And don't ask when the baby is due, either or assume that all overweight women are always hungry. Overweight women are also some of the BEST lovers in bed, just so you know! (No, I'm not obese but I speak the truth).

  5. Purlease don't ask if I'm on a diet or if I want to be on a diet??!! It's none of your fucking business anyways!!

  6. It's the hand gesture when someone is describing the person who was "kind of my shape" that I found odd. The kind of pointy paintbrushing up and down.

    1. ha ha yes I know exactly the gesture

  7. I hate "real mean like big women" its as if they are trying to find a sense of pride in their own bodies by saying that. I'm a big girl and IDC lol . People like what they like. If you don't like it you can change it. I enjoyed reading this, this morning <3

  8. My mother said "It's easy for you to travel all around the world because you're so fat, all the muggers and rapists are scared of you".

    I was also asked whose newborn I'm babysitting when I came home from the hospital with MY newborn. "Oh, I couldn't tell you were pregnant!"

    1. Oh wow-people can be dicks. Congrats on your baby xx

  9. I loved this. My favourite thing has to be "You are so brave to wear something like that". God forbid someone's eyes might be drawn to me if I wear something that doesn't resemble a bin bag. The HORROR!

    1. ha ha I get that too, or "you are so confident to wear that"-meaning "what the hell" ha ha

  10. Lol! "I don't care and no I don't want to "share chips" just order the fricking chips." Exactly! You know what I hate...when I turn down something unhealthy and the person that offered say, "oh, you MUST be on a diet!" No! I'm not on a diet I just prefer NOT to indulge in unhealthy food everyday, every meal!! I'm fat due to inactivity not because I eat donuts all day! Great post!!

  11. ...and no, I don't actually want to hear about your latest diet, and how it would 'take pounds off me' thank you xx

  12. I have 4 'favourites' You look so well' everyone knows that means fat. 'I see you take after your Dad', who was a big man, not my mother who was a petite size 6-8. 'Your so cuddly, I bet you are happy all the time', err no I have my ups and downs same as everyone else.and 'Eating again' with a nod and a knowing smile. I haven't eaten all day, but clearly because I am big I must have my head in the nosebag all day grrrrrrrrrrr

  13. Oh God, people can be such dicks! The one that pissed me off the most was my old school friend when I had started putting on weight and wasn't as comfortable about it as I am now and she said something along the lines of it all being relative and that everyone from school had put on weight. I took offence because she was slagging the 'skinny' me, making out I was bigger than everyone in the first place, so obviously I would be the biggest now. It was bull and I wanted to slap her. Plus her hubby said I 'WAS such a fox' when he saw an old school photo of me..because obviously now I'm fat, I could never be hot! I want in on the pie eating club btw ; )

  14. No.3 is my mothers favourite! On returning from her holiday to spain, she was telling me about all the people on the beach, 'AND there were even big women on there wearing bikinis, and they were TWICE your size, i don't know why you won't wear a bikini'. Erm...maybe it has something to do with ridiculous/hurtful/stupid comments like that!! I'm fat and i'm wearing yellow...so get over it or fuck off! :D Also had the 'You look so well' (for a fatty), you obviously take after Cousin Sandra, she was REEEALLY BIG! I was informed of this at 7yrs old, never met cousin sandra but being her was a really 'bad' thing P.S Thank you for making me smile everyday and for helping me to love the woman i see in the mirror xx


Skimlinks Test