Monday, 19 August 2013

Being A Glamorous Fatty

I'm a glamorous fatty
Last week the beautiful Dita Von Tease acted as agony aunt for XOJane
One reader asked how she dealt with the unwanted attention dressing glamorously everyday attracted and her response was absolute genius
“Nothing great comes without risk, and only the very mediocre are safe from being poked fun at”

Dita-the queen of glam

This totally sang to me. I have always been obsessed with glamour. From being a little girl I have pored over images of Elizabeth Taylor, Ava Gardner, Marlena Dietrich and Louise Brooks.
I've always been obsessed with old school glamour
The Californian sun kissed natural beauty of stars like Jennifer Aniston has never appealed, I can appreciate it sure but I’ve never hankered to look anything except uber glam.
It’s always been this way. Even whilst watching grease at the tender age of 7 I wanted to be Rizzo with her pixie cut and pencil skirt. Sandy with her jaunty pony tail and rose bud lips could never compete.
I always loved Rizzo-hell I still do
I guess what I’m attracted to is the idea of always looking special. Whether it’s for a trip to the supermarket or a night out I’ve never been drawn to casual clothes and even when I’m in an oversize sweater and leggings I will have false eyelashes on and big hair.
This is my idea of casual
When I moved to Liverpool for university I realised I had found my spiritual home, Often mocked in the media you will struggle to find women more glamorous than your average Liverbird. These girls favour big hair, oversized handbags and perfect manicures at all times and I love it. Even the trend of going shopping in their rollers (something that I would rather die than do) is to ensure they have huge hair in the evening-that’s commitment and I admire it.
Liverpool is definitely my spiritual home-a place where glitter smoke eyeshadow at lunchtime is quite acceptable
I know that the rather full on artificial look I favour isn’t for everyone and whilst this is the look I prefer I can appreciate beauty in all forms. 
Some women look fabulous with just a slick of lip balm and soft product free hair. I’m not one of them and even if I were I would miss the process of creating the glamour. I love applying make up, trying out new looks, planning outfits. As a creative person it gives me huge satisfaction and makes me feel wonderful.
I love expressing my creativity through clothes and make up
As a fat chick embracing my inner glamour goddess has helped me carve out an identity which I'm very comfortable with.One which refuses to conform to the idea that to be overweight is ugly, unattractive and certainly not glamorous. When I apply my false eyelashes and slick on my bubblegum pink lipstick its not only an act of devotion to myself but a huge "fuck you" to anyone who dare suggest that I am somehow less because of my size.
The natural look just isn't me and anyway I would miss the process-applying make up is like self devotion for me
What’s interesting are the occasional judgements that get thrown your way. Women (and sadly it is always women) sometimes seem to find my appearance almost as a criticism to there’s. I’ve been informed on more than one occasion unprompted that I must have “loads of time on my hands” as who else could be bothered to be fully made up before breakfast. This always makes me smile, its in much the same vein as people who tell me they could also have written a book if they “had the time” As if writers are time lords who can somehow create extra hours rather then the reality which is that we get up earlier/work later and forgoe things like watching lots of telly.
No I don't have more time than anyone else-its all about priorities and for me looking glam is one
Looking glamorous is the same. I’ve been doing this for so long that full hair and make up takes me exactly 35 minutes. I’m also a professional make up artist so of course my thrown on make up looks slick, you wouldn’t have you hair cut by someone with a wonky fringe would you?
As a make up artist I want to look good-you wouldn't get your hair cut by someone with a wonky fringe would you
 It’s also to do with priorities. I will happily forge stacking the dishwasher and making the beds until later in the day. I’m house proud sure but looking good is more important to me than winning housewife of the year and when I have my “face” on I feel ready for anything. I hesitate to call it my armor; rather it’s my plumage. I’m like a plump vibrant peacock, shaking my tail feathers and loving every moment.
I'm like a plump peacock
What does glamour mean to you? Are you someone who can’t answer the door without a full face of make up on or are you happy to go Au natural?

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