Tuesday, 9 July 2013

When Fatty Got Married



Me with Nicky Rockets (can't believe I had no tattoos on my arm then)
Last weekend me and my lovely husband celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary.
This isn't the blog version of Steve Wrights love songs so I wont be too mushy but needless to say its been a fantastic ten years and I'm a very happy lady.
As I thought about my wedding day it made me realise how far I had come in my journey of self acceptance about my size. I was quite confident and happy when I got hitched but certain parts of the process shook even my cast iron self belief. These included:

No Plus Size Wedding Frocks To try On


Looking to a future where you can try on a sample dress over a size 10
Not a single wedding dress shop I visited had one sample size that fitted (I was a size 20 when I got hitched) this meant every dress I tried on including the one I eventually opted for was basically far too small and a slightly dingy piece of muslin like material was pinned at the back so I could get an "idea" of what it would look like.
 I paid a £1000 for my dress ten years ago at the wedding dress chain Pronuptia and as I opted for  a corseted strapless number this meant that until I actually tried on my completed dress two weeks before the big day I had no idea how it would really look.
In actual fact when I first tried it on it was huge and I looked like a tank. It was as if the dressmakers just couldn't see that although my body was fat it did actually go in and out. I had to fight to get alterations made and was actually told that it would look "weird" Nice customer service eh. As I'm sure you will agree by these photos I didn't look weird, I looked nice, and as if I had a waist.
I believe things are much better in the wedding dress world now and certainly had I known then what I know now I would have gone to a few more independent retailers but it made what should have been the best dress buying experience of my life pretty miserable.

I couldn't get a strapless bra in my size for love nor money


Throwing the bouquet and flashing my boobies

Nowadays ladies over a D cup are fairly well looked after but ten years ago it was an entirely different story. Having paid a grand for a wedding dress with no straps I then spent months and months fruitlessly looking for a bra to hold my bangers up. I went everywhere. Eventually I went to Foners in Liverpool and had to have a bra made which cost a fortune. The stress of finding my wedding underwear still haunts me. I became like a woman possessed phoning up lingerie manufactures and even when working in America just before the big day spending my one day off not sightseeing but pounding around malls desperate for a white strapless bra.Who knew such a simple item would be so tricky.

The photographer obviously thought I wasn't very attractive (he was wrong-I looked awesome)
Taking our vows-we were both crying and look rather manic

We were rather lazy about our choice of wedding photographer as working in the media as we did back then we knew our friends would take some great shots (which they did) so we booked a local photographer to record the service and do the group shots. Its ironic how a few years later my husband would become a wedding photographer because we learnt some good lessons about how not to treat a bride. When we first went to meet the photographer he told me rather gleefully that he had photographed a "big girl" recently and then proceeded to show me lots of pictures of this one lady. It was as if he felt photographing a fat chick required special skills. I think in his misguided way he was trying to be nice but it made me feel that he viewed my size as a visual disability he had to overcome.Nowadays I would have thanked the man and  left but even ten years ago fat shaming and rudeness about size and shape was part of the everyday landscape so I not only said nothing I booked him!
It was a very happy day
The day itself was amazing and I loved every moment of it so I am in no way saying these incidents spoilt a thing because they didn't, rather they tell the story of how even in ten years we have come  along way and wedding service providers are slowly coming around to the notion of the plus sized pound. Hurrah!
Happy ten Year Anniversary
We had this great poem by John Cooper Clarke as one of our readings (my great friend Becky did the honours) and it still sums up how we feel about each other:

I wanna be yours
I wanna be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
I wanna be your Ford Cortina
I will never rust
If you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
You call the shots
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
I wanna be your dreamboat
when you want to sail away
Let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
I don't care
I wanna be yours

I wanna be your electric meter
I will not run out
I wanna be the electric heater
you'll get cold without
I wanna be your setting lotion
hold your hair in deep devotion
Deep as the deep Atlantic ocean
that's how deep is my devotion

So here's to another ten years of marital bliss. I'd like to say my style has evolved massively but looking at these pics I seem to have always favoured big hair, false eyelashes and lots of lipstick. I was just a lot blonder and less tattooed!

For more of my general musings check out my Big fat thoughts page Ive got more rabbit than Sainsburys
Have you seen my latest vlog "5 Big Myths About Fattys"




Im shortlisted for Best Plus Size Blogger award


I have just found out that I am in the shortlist for the plus size blogger award. Chuffed doesn't begin to cover it. If you enjoy my waffle please take a moment to vote





Limited Edition Killer Curves Tee Shirts Now On Sale
My brand new Killer Curve tee Shirts cost £12 and are available to buy from here having curves never looked so good!





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7 comments:

  1. Wow - just wow! You were such a beautiful bride :) And ofc, you're still beautiful!

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  2. Sorry that you had those issues but really glad they didn't spoil your day. Looks like a great day and you make a beautiful bride.

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  3. Well, on the flip side, I half starved myself for 2 years to get down to a size 12/14 for my wedding, and while I look back now and say 'ah how pretty' it also makes me a bit sad. As soon as the wedding was over I started eating 'normally' and within 6 months had went back to a size 18/20. I couldn't put myself through a starvation routine only to end up big again when I went back to normal eating. It just shows how hard I felt the pressure to be a slimmer bride.
    V
    xxx

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  4. You looked beautiful! (You still do) it looks like you had a lovely day. It's a shame so many woman feel they have to be a size 10 to be a beautiful bride? So many of my friends (myself included) starved themselves for years to lose weight for their wedding day. Perhaps if the range of plus size wedding dresses were more accessible and more 'mainstream' woman might not be quite so concerned with losing weight to fit into them? May be they still would? Anyway, you were the perfect advert for a fat bride- I would love to look like you!

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  5. I can so relate to this post, I was lucky my mum could sew and made my dress. The world of Plus Size Fashion has come such a long way, coming from NZ plus size is still so expensive, I love how I can now get affordable fashionable clothes from overseas, shame we can't get them here but with a population of only 4 million, I can not see that happening anytime soon.

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  6. Congratulations on your 10 year wedding anniversary!

    I was also a plus sized bride, not quite two years ago. At the time I was around an 18/20 and I carry most of my weight on my stomach and hips.

    Dress shopping initially involve me being forced into size 12 samples that did not do up, were painfully tight and looked awful. What I wanted from a dress wasn't taken into account; I was whisked away from what I liked and told I looked fabulous in a number with a tulle skirt which at 5ft 1 swamped me. I was given the price and ordering information for it despite not actually wanting it.

    The dress I bought in the end was a size 26 with a tonne of heavy beading which was carefully and beautifully sized down to fit from a Bridal shop who listened to what I wanted.

    I too had the problem with the strapless bra. I had longed for something special and longline that would support me but with limited funds and time to find one I ended up buying the closest size to mine (which was smaller) which barely kept them in the right place.

    I felt that it wasn't something I had a choice in and was essentially the price I paid for not having "got into shape" before my wedding, something I was often asked about as we were planning our wedding.

    I'm proud of how I look on our wedding day, it's me and it's the woman my Husband loved and wanted to marry, and that's enough for me :)

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