There is an old saying which I think originated from a George Bernard Shaw quote
"Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty but the pig likes it"
Its one of my favourites, not least because it includes a pig in it and the thought of pig wrestling makes me laugh. Its also a good rule of thumb when some one is trying to get a rise out of you either personally or professionally (which is pretty much the same thing to me as I'm self employed and my business really is my baby)
Some people enjoy doing things to get a reaction. If they see you happy, contented, successful it irritates them and they like nothing better than to try and pick away at you until you crack.
Social media is a breeding ground for this type of behaviour. A casual remark on twitter about how much you like a certain TV show, book or song can unleash a torrent of sneary bile from keyboard warriors eager to "pull you down a peg or two' or just argue with you over nothing.
My philosophy on this kind of behaviour is that I will not rise to it.
I try to always take the higher ground and certainly never react immediately. The air is pleasanter and it allows me to take a breath and consider whether I want to engage with someone when their whole agenda is obviously to make me feel shit about myself.
I have to say the resounding conclusion is usually No
|No pig wrestling here|
I haven't always been this considered I spent most of my twenties and early thirties being like a bull waiting for a red rag.
Convinced that with enough logic and reasoned argument I could change ignorant small minded peoples point of view.
It took a long time to realise these kind of weirdos actually enjoy the banter.Its negative attention but attention nevertheless. Like when your child plays with the plug socket or draws on the wall because you aren't paying them enough attention and as super nanny is so fond of saying "don't reward bad behaviour"
As tempting as it is to engage in verbal gymnastics when someone is goading you, its far more irritating to them and empowering to you to just ignore them.
Now I'm using this approach in relation to when some numpty gets you in their sights and just doesn't like you because they are an insecure ninny who feeds their own soul on misery. I don't use this approach if I see rampant racism, sexism or homophobia. Then I'm quite happy to put my head above the parapet, but in everyday matters of people just being swines (swines, pigs geddit) I keep my ballet pumps mud free,check my lipstick in my compact and move on humming a show tune.
How do you react when you feel someone is going out of their way to undermine or upset you, especially on social media?
For more of my general musings check out my Big fat thoughts page Ive got more rabbit than Sainsburys
Lotty Blue Discount Code
The fantastic Lotty Blue who stock Besame cosmetics as well as lots of other wonderful vintage inspired loveliness are offering my readers a 15% discount until the end of June. just use the code "bettypamper" at checkout!
All content (text, photos and other) are the property of Betty Pamper (aka Perelandra Beedles) unless otherwise stated. Please refrain from copying any material without recognition of the author and a link to the source on this blog