Friday, 15 March 2013

See no evil, hear no evil.


I'm not looking-These sunglasses are keeping the comparison demons at bay
As a self employed hottie I understand that seeking out inspiration and like minded people via social media, blogs and books is a vital component to help keep my creative juices flowing. 
Seeing others striving to be the best they can be, stokes my own fires and as I have little to no "water cooler" moments it also helps manage the sense of isolation that can go hand in hand with self employment.
There is a caveat to all this cyber stalking though. One which I have found really helps me especially when I'm having a wobble, feeling unfocused or frustrated by lack of success in a certain area.I only follow the fortunes of those who are guaranteed to lift me higher.
Morrissey once sang "we hate it when our friends became successful" and whilst I'm relieved to find regardless of how my own fortunes are spinning I genuinely revel in my mates doing well, even I sometimes feel a stab of dark twisty annoyance when someone I don't particularly rate appears to be doing magnificently. My antidote to this is simple. i just don't look any more. 
Childish? maybe? effective? you betcha.



When you first set up on a journey of self employment its natural (and really important) to check out the competition. It helps you see what else is out there, inspires you to emulate success stories and also helps create a great big list of everything you don't want to be.
As you get further along in your endeavour whilst its prudent to check in on your  contemporaries every now and again, I  find personally  it can  be quite undermining and unhelpful to my own drive and vision to know too much about what others are doing.
I'm soo happy for you darling. No, really I always clench my teeth when I'm happy
Picture from pintrest

Its too easy to see someones success (and lets be honest these are the things we tend to talk about) and  feel utterly demoralised.
If you are faltering or times are tough, to read of others who appear to be  gliding like swans to increasingly bigger and better things can actually rain on your parade to such an extent that you just want to throw your hands up in the air and give up.
We all have times when things in life are tough and its at these points that surrounding yourself with feel good people is so important.
 To this end I read lots of blogs of people who are driven, creative and interesting but who are not doing the same things as me. They give me a little extra zing but I can celebrate their success rather than compare it unfavourably to my own when I'm having a self doubt buffet. 
Like the tides of the sea our moods and self esteem are constantly changing and when you are feeling strong and emotionally successful you can always reintroduce some of your peers back into your bloglovin/twitter/facebook feeds but if turning on your computer is making you feel dissatisfied or fed up, don't blame social media or the Internet as a whole, Just be choosy about what you look at. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.
For more of my thoughts and ideas on making self employment work for you check out my Sassy Self employment page




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1 comment:

  1. very wise advice there, jealousy is a difficult emotion to manage so sometimes it is definitely best to step away and build yourself up again.

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