Thursday, 14 February 2013

Sometimes Walking Away Is Ok

Knowing when to quit doesnt make you week, it makes you smart

As a hard working, goal orientated Capricorn I have always struggled with the concept of "walking away'
Im no masochist but until a situation is laid out in front of me in blazing technicolour as being unsolvable I tend to keep on chipping away in the hope of a positive outcome.
This has worked to my benefit on many occasions. Friendships which could have broken down because of a silly row have been resurrected to become wonderful again, work setbacks where everyone advised me to bail have turned out in my favour.
But being ultra determined can actually be a burden. Sometimes you have to know when to quit and over the last few weeks Ive realised that to walk away from a draining situation can illustrate as much strength (if not more) as staying the course.
I'm not being purposely enigmatic or mysterious when I say I can't discuss the recent scenario which has led me to this conclusion (and trust me it wouldn't really add anything to this post if I did) Needless to say I have had a revelation. When you stop banging your head against a wall, it stops hurting.

There is much to be said for a graceful exit

I'm tenacious, my default position if you put me in a corner is to come out fighting.This will never change and I don't want it to. But maybe I'm finally accruing enough life experience to realise that you have to choose your battles carefully.
If certain people or set ups continuously grind your gears,hovering over your life like a toxic cloud retreat can be the best strategy.
You cant change everything to your advantage. No matter how reasoned or eloquent your argument you will never get everyone to see things as you do- thats life.
When this becomes an insurmountable problem you can either howl at the moon at the unfairness of it all or just walk away to pastures new, making that satisfying clip clop sound on the floor with your high heels as you do it.
Years ago someone told me you should "always know when to leave the party" well the DJ is now playing Agadoo and someone is throwing up in the bushes so I have bid this particular predicament farewell. Wow it feels empowering. 
Do you have problems with knowing when to give up?

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  1. Very wise but I hope you are ok? x

  2. hi betty,
    this comes so at the right time!
    last weekend i quit my job...
    it was draining so much energy from me, and made me sooo sad most of the times, i sat down with my boyfriend and made me think to start a photography business on my own... something i really love, and maybe wont gain me giagantic amounts of money, but rather happy with what i do and poor then rich and sad and depressed...
    love your blog! xxx

  3. It sounds like you're 'in the wars' (as my mum would say) so I hope you're OK? I'm a tenacious wee bugger myself. I never like to give up, and it's got me into situations where I've had loyalty to people who really didn't deserve it and it came back to bite me on the bum big time. I've also stayed at jobs where they took the utter p*ss out of my loyalty and work ethic, so I would say it's a MASSIVE life lesson to know when enough is enough. The trick is to get out before it seriously affects your life, and because I was crap at that I only have the benefit of hindsight to say if your senses tell you to run, then get going pronto. Hugs. xx

  4. I know exactly what you're saying. I turned my back on a toxic 'friendship' of 8 years over a year ago now and it was the best thing I ever did. I worked with the woman too which was awful, because she turned into a complete bully and all with the blessing of the department's boss, with whom she was friends. Don't regret getting away from her for one minute, she was controlling and in the end I got very little out of the relationship. Little did I know until later that nearly everyone else at work thought she was toxic too, but were just being professional. Because things got unbearable at work, I found another job - higher position, more money, lovely people and I'm so much more happy. Short-term pain for long-term gain - it's hard but I believe that everything happens for a reason. Keep strong and thoughts are with you xx

  5. I'm with you on the struggling to know when to give up thing, I think I've learned now but in the past I have clung on for dear life to things that really would have been better out of my life.
    I really hope you're ok though.

  6. Great post, very true. I personally also feel that as well as knowing when to walk away from something, there is also the other thing of being able to say "NO" to something before you even start it as well. I have found this gets easier as I get older (and wiser?!) :) x

  7. you have no idea how much this post has hit home! From the absolute bottom of my heart THANK YOU! x

  8. High freakin' fives to this, beautiful - you are endlessly made o' awesome, do you know that?!


    L x


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