Thursday, 17 January 2013

Things I Wont Do Anymore


just say No-you know it makes sense

The latter part of 2012 and beginning of 2013 has been somewhat of an emotional rollercoaster for me. Bereavement, work stress combined with the usual January "mehs" has left me feeling over stretched and moany about my lot in life. 
As a practical Capricorn I realise that this cant go on, so following Elizabeth Taylor's motto "move a muscle, change a thought" I have been reevaluating my work/life balance and have realised I simply need to make a few tweaks and lose some very bad habits.
 Ive gone through each area of my life family/work/play with a big red pen.Its been strangely liberating.So here it is my list of things I am kicking to the kerb in terms of work.As usual readers you are my witnesses.
What-turn my email off! are you mad?

I wont be-Answering emails after 6pm
Being self employed and with my emails literally at my fingertips at all times now I have an i-phone Ive got into the really bad habit of checking and answering work mails in the evening instead of using the time to wind down. Not only does this mean I become distracted from family life but also that I'm never "shutting the door" on work and recharging my creative batteries. 
I love my job, it totally rocks but every time an email pings into my inbox it drags me out of my present and I'm immediately in work mode. 
This just isn't a good long term strategy and whilst I fully intend to still write and tweet in the evening, my email account will have the closed sign on at 6pm sharp. 
I'm actually already feeling quite liberated by this thought. I did it for the first time a few nights ago and guess what? the world didn't end and it was all still there for me in the morning.Which brings me to my next "I wont be" which is running along the same theme.

I wont be-locking into the mainframe until after 9am.
No online before nine

I wont be checking emails, tweets, facebook, the Guardian online, bloglovin  or any other form of social media until after 9am. 
I'm a terror for grabbing my phone as soon as Ive rubbed the sleep from my eyes and seeing whats "going on" I realise part of this is a hangover from my time working as a news producer where it was imperative I was across current events but that was years ago and has no place in my life anymore. It doesn't matter if I learn about a breaking news story at 10am after school drop off, a workout and shower. I'm not a newshound any more-just chill the fug out.

I wont be-Saying Yes to everything I'm offered
Stretched too thin-yes I see the irony in that

I'm always so flattered when I get asked to any work related events especially ones to do with my blog and feel I must attend even if actually I'm oversubscribed with other commitments.  I always feel rude saying no to things and as a fairly new blogger I'm constantly amazed anyone reads my ramblings but Ive realised I'm just one woman I cant do everything.I'm not Gweneth Paltrow no one will give a crap if I don't go to something.

Which brings me to my final "I wont be"
I wont be-feeling guilty when I cant constantly interact
As Barbra once sang "We've got nothing to feel guilty for"

I love my blog readers, my twitter friends and facebook buddies. They make me laugh every day, are the first to swing in and ask if I'm OK if my tweets are sounding a bit pensive and feed my make up stalking habit with cool instagram pics of mental eyeshadow and Gwen Stafani's eyeliner. 
Ive made some truly ace online friends which as a writer and self employed portfolio career maven (which can be isolating) is just amazing.
The problem is I always feel that if people have taken the time to comment on my blog or tweet me I must reply. Then I run out of time because there is a child to feed, a cat to worm blah, blah, blah and then feel guilty. I dread that people think I'm snotty or don't appreciate them but enough is enough.Ive decided I have to give people more credit. If you follow me on any of the various social platforms I'm on you will know I'm a chatty Cathy. Happy to ramble on at length with anyone about the oddest things so if I don't reply to something its not that I don't care, I'm just doing something else,like reading a book, seeing friends, folding washing.You get it. 

So there you have it. The first section of my "Things I wont be doing in 2013" list. 
Can I actually do this, will my eyes be twitching at lack of night time email contact? can I bear to get up and not immediately read the paper? Lets see.
Is there anything in your life that you think you need to stop doing. Id love to hear.

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5 comments:

  1. I'm guilty of all of these points so I should definitely be adding these to my daily routine/ to do list for 2013.

    I'll let you know how I get on (but not before 9am!) xxx

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  2. Great plans. Now you best stick to them because they sound like they're going to do you the world of good :)

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  3. High fives to that, Miss Bee!

    L x

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  4. Hi! I've been reading your blog for close to a year now. I think I found you via my digital Vintage Life Magazine subscription (I'm in the U.S.) - funny I can't remember exactly! :) Anyway, I've never commented before, but I get an email alert whenever a new entry is posted, so I always keep up. This one struck a chord.

    My social media life was getting way out of hand, and I grew very tired of all of the noise (especially around our election season - UGH!). In November, I shut down my Facebook (the worst offender), Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram. I kept Pinterest, because I actually enjoy it and find it useful. I realize this might seem a bit severe to some, but life has gotten much SIMPLER, and I really don't feel like I'm missing out on much.

    It does take a little control not to go back. I admit, I've been tempted to go back to Twitter & Instagram a few times, but I always just give it a little time and remember why I left in the first place, and the desire to return to the noise passes.

    I still follow the blogs of all my favorites! I think I can speak for most reasonable blog readers - we won't leave you en masse for not feeling the need to stay connected/interact with us all of the time! (Hey, after all, this is my first comment ever.)

    So, good for you for setting some boundaries - remember, you're doing this for yourself and your family. I think if you keep the original reasons why you made this list in mind, you'll do just fine.

    Oh, and as you can see, I can be chatty too! :)

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  5. Amazing blog post - hope it works for you! Sounds like a good realistic plan. I've got my red pen out too, but I haven't decided on what I need to prioritise or give up yet, still clinging onto wanting to do everything!

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