Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Breaking The Plus Sized Fashion Rules


Lets break the plus sized fashion rules

In fashion as with most things there is a perceived idea of how you should put certain items together (if you show cleavage, don't show too much leg, never mix spots and stripes) 
When you add being plus sized to the equation it seems there are even more nuggets of " wisdom"many of which are regularly shared on make over shows and in magazines. Here are just a few:


ooh sorry I just accidentally burned my stretch trousers and tunic combo
  • Wear black as its "slimming"
  • Avoid horizontal stripes as they make you look "wider"
  • Stick to block colours. Anything with a pattern is too "busy" and will "emphasise" your shape
  • Wear tunic tops to "hide problem areas"
  • Bootcut trousers will "lengthen" short legs
I absolutely hate these kinds of "style rules" and here's why: 
If you are a size 16 or above wearing top to toe black is not going to magically make you appear like a size eight, sure darker colours make you look slightly slimmer but that's treating your shape and size as a problem to be solved. Its not. 
I've got very short legs, boot cut jeans do not make them look longer and guess what they don't need to look longer. They are fine and dandy just as they are-short, dappled with cellulite with thighs they fit together like pieces of a chubby jigsaw.
Wear tunic tops and bootcut jeans because you like them, not because you have been told they will disguise your size or shape.
Please don't think I'm being insensitive to any plus sized hottie buying clothes with ingenious cuts and cunning camouflage that's not my message. My point is ladies whatever your size OWN IT

Forget the "rules" own your shape and size and wear what you want

Please lets all make a pact starting from today that we will never ever again buy an item of clothing because we think it disguises our size. 
Lets buy clothes that we truly adore, in colours and patterns that make our heart beat too fast, in styles that make us walk slightly taller because we feel great.
Wear stripes, wear prints, wear whatever you damn well like and the next time you see something on a rail that you love but then start to pass by because "it just wont suit my figure" go and try it on. I insist.
I'm a big bangered butterfly breaking out of my high Lycra content cocoon
Fashion rules are made to be broken. Don't let other peoples hang ups or the medias obsession with size dictate how you dress and live your life. 
Sure I realise that I look slightly "thinner" when I wear black leggings, a black top and a black skirt but I don't want to spend my life looking like an Italian widow, and don't try and tell me that I should express myself simply with accessories. The top to toe black look with a "statement" necklace just doesn't cut it. I want to be a riot of colour and pattern and if I can find it in my size I'm going to wear it.
I want to be a riot of colour and pattern
So like large bangered butterflies breaking out of a black stretchy fabric cocoon lets all get giddy with the possibilities that plus sized fashion anarchy brings. Race you to the acid yellow horizontal striped crop top!

The Details
Model-Betty Pamper
Photography-Nick Beedles at Nickyrockets.com
MUA-Lilly Von Pink
Dress-Sohos

This post was sponsored by the brilliant Sohos clothing who stock an amazing range of plus sized clothes including the rather fetching Asuka Hellbunny dress I am wearing. 





And if you liked this why not check out my previous "5 Fat Myths" Vlog.







Limited Edition Betty Pamper Tee Shirt Now On Sale
My brand new Betty Pamper tee Shirts cost £15 and are available to buy from here having curves never looked so good!




All content (text, photos and other) are the property of Betty Pamper (aka Perelandra Beedles) unless otherwise stated. Please refrain from copying any material without recognition of the author and a link to the source on this blog



93 comments:

  1. Ooh what a fab post today Betty! :)

    I have tried and ditched those style rules myself in the past I must admit! lol My favourite jeans are skinny and as you know we share stripy tastes! lol

    patterns I'm learning to embrace and I do love your dress! Opened the link to soho before I read there is a chance of winning it. Have a party coming up and would love a rockabilly dress. :) Which admittedly will be my first ever.

    Thanks for an inspiring post. x

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  2. Ooh great post. Count me in on your giveaway, although I am not on Facebook, does mean I won't qualify to enter?
    My mum was reading your blog with me on Sunday. She wanted to know what colour eyeliner, or was it eyeshadow, you wear! We watched your videos and loved the fringe don't ring one.
    Xx

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    1. Hi Gem
      Yes you can enter even if you are not on facebook.
      My eyeshadow is a brown one by benefit and I use the Rimmel gel eyeliner and Dainty doll black kohl x

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    2. That's great, I shall pass it on to my mum. Thanks x x

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  3. Ha ha my word verification was Tory bum!!!

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  4. I <3 this article. So many times I have worn clothes that apparently doesn't suit me, but that I loved anyway, and I've felt amazing in them (case in point - my 50's prom dresses & ballet pumps, highlighting my compete lack of boobs & short legs) I think the secret to looking good is feeling good & if that means wearing clothes others would shy away from then let's do it!

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    1. Lia you are a girl after my own heart-yeah lets do it xxx

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  5. Loving today's post, you look fab as usual.

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  6. I'm following you like a bee follows honey!

    I adore this post and the message behind it.

    Kathryn

    www.misskathrynsmisstakes.blogspot.com x

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  7. Great post! You had me at 'camel toe' haha.

    After meeting you last year and having ordered a couple of vintage style dresses for the pamper day, I discovered I loved and suited the style. I, too, had been avoiding prints, partly out of obedience to 'the rules' and partly because I felt they competed with my 'English rose' (read 'overheated redhead') complexion.
    But last year I ordered a dress in a similar style to the one you are wearing here. It was, however, black and white and a bit generic. I dyed it bright green so the balck still showed through, and wore it to a wedding with a navy blue cardigan and patent navy ballet pumps(another rule broken!)
    It wasn't anything you would call 'fashionable'.

    However, we got to the wedding and it was full of actors, playwrights, academics, teachers, smallholders, Essex girls, you name it, and that damn fine dress fitted right in! The bride wore a dirndl! Anything went! We all walked across town from the wedding venue to the newlyweds house and I was one of only a few without blisters. One of the best and most personal weddings I've ever been to.

    This year I made a vow not to buy clothes and have been giving money instead to animal charities so my dress buying has been paused... but there's nothing in my self imposed rules to say I couldn't gladly accept a dress that I'd WON :)

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    1. Love this story. Its amazing once you give up on the idea of fashion rules how wonderful you start to feel. Thats amazing that you are giving to charity rather than buyng clothes. Best of British in the competition xx

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  8. Betty, you are my style inspiration at the moment. A beautiful woman who owns your own style choices and empowers others to do the same! Well done and thank you xxx

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    1. What a lovely hing to say. Thanks so much Lisa xx

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  9. Great post I love it !! I don't stick to any style rules and only wear all black when I have to go to work and really don't want to it's my outfit choice to mourn the fact I've not won the lottery. :) you look fab as usual ill leave you to the crop top but can I steal your leopard leggings ?! Xx

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    1. Love the idea of wearing black to mourn not winning the lottery ha ha. know you are a very stylish lady as I reguarly check your blog and you are definately working some serious style x

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  10. Some fabulous advice, I think a style book for us Plus Size Princesses! I too break the fashion rules and love nothing better than a stripey top, it makes me come over all sailoresque,and you can't beat a bit of nautical chic.
    I hear you on the tunics quite wonderful if you want to look like a patterned honey monster but to flatter my curves, Pah!!!
    The dress would be a wonderful addition as I am currently e baying lots of clothes that are no longer me to fund a new style expedition and I am beginning to think people think I only own my get cutie dress!

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    1. I agree nautical chic is hard to beat. I love wearing stripes and patterns, lifes too short not to have fun with clothes. xx

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  11. Oh god, I would gladly burn any of those tunics! Who wants their boobs to look as if they're round their waist? Get them out I say! The people who look best are the people you can tell are wearing what they want to wear! Great post and great dress! (I have liked on Facebook as Faith hope and charity shopping)

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    1. I will bring the lighter fluid, you bring teh matches. lets make a tunic bonfire ha ha

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  12. My mother would always tell me "you cant wear this, you cant wear that, you too large for that style"...I never listened the minute I had my own money! I went shopping with her a few months ago and got "Oh I cant wear that, I cant wear this" from just looking at the rail!!! I told her to get her bum into the changeing room and try on everything I hand her...and she ended up buying almost all of it!!

    I love Hellbunny dresses and have ordered through soho a few times, but never the dress as Im always worried about not seeing something "on" someone - but the dress looks fab (and Ive just been paid - teheheh!)

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    1. I love that by stepping out of her comfort zone your mum ended up with loads of lovely new clothes. Its about being open minded and letting go of pre conceived ideas of what "suits" us isnt it x

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  13. fabulous post, I wear what I want, when I want, as long as I can get in it. I have put on 4 stone but get more compliments now than I ever did as an all black wearing skinny. If I am ever in doubt as to whether I have overdone it, then a headscarf and trusty converse act as a great leveller xx

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    1. Dylan you are a girl after my own heart. Loving the sound of the headscarf and converse combo too x

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  14. i tend to hide but would like a complete make over i attend alot of concerts with my work i never seem to have enough self conf this give away would love i never seem to win a thing in my life XXX :)

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    1. Jo overhauling your image can feel scary. take it one dress/top at a time. Once you start exsperimenting with styes and colours you will stumble on a look that is totally you and which makes you feel amazing. This then becomes your individual style template-good luck xxI never win anything either

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  15. That's a really cute dress.
    I love the geisha pattern! :)

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  16. Great blog! They were talking about plus size fashion on the wright stuff today, saying that it encourages people to be obese!! Crazy! I LOVE hell bunny because it actually does do bigger sizes and I get board in top shop (my sis drags me in) as even tho they have the odd 16 mostly it's only size 8 or 10 on the rails. Girls should not have to wear tents/feel like a freak if they are over a 14! One of the reasons I started modelling is to encourage other girls my size (16) to feel good about being curvy and dress how they want. Even in alt modelling I think it is rare to see a girl who is a 14 never mind over which is a real shame and not very alternative!

    Salome Sin xx

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    1. That makes me feel sad to hear people saying that plus sized fashion encourages people to be obese. My view is that yes I exercise and try to keep to a size 16-18 (not always sucessfully ha ha) as I have a child and a responsibility to not have a stroke or become too big to be able to stay active but I refuse to be made to feel I or anyone else who is plus sized is somehow less worthy of feeling beautiful, attractive and in the fashion game should they choose. Whether you have fully accepted your size, or aim to change it you should still feel beautiful everyday. Thank for commenting Salome x

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  17. THUMBS UP!!!

    Styling-rules ... not for me!

    I´m a curvey girl with size 22/24 and love my Styling.

    Hugs
    Steffi from Germany

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  18. Betty, your wonderful. You always look fantastic and you've made me feel much much better about my shape and size since I started reading your blog. I've even started buying a few vintage dresses just because I love them. And I'll wear them and feel fab because I know there's someone else out there that encourages me :-)
    I'm even wearing a handmade by me Welsh wool check multicolor 50's number to work today. Even though it's a bit too low cut for the office ;-)
    It's because of you I have the confidence to wear it and feel stunning in it.
    Your a true inspiration. What would I do without you :-)

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    1. Natasha to have someone as talented and creative as you be inspired by me is simply amazing. And loving the sound of your mult colour 50's number xx

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  19. I've always thought you should wear what looks good on you, and that dress looks great on you! I would love to win one, even though my cleavage would be nowhere near as impressive x

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    1. Bubbles my cleavage isnt that really that impressive. Im wearing some rather impressive push up underwear x

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  20. These posts have helped me enormously to let go of all the stupid fat girl style rules and I'm gradually wearing whatever I feel good in, whether it's deemed appropriate or not. I feel so much better for it!
    Oddly though it's only since I've become comfortable with myself that my slogging away with WeightWatchers is actually working! I've done it for years and never got anywhere, now suddenly it's dropping off me. Maybe it's because I've stopped caring so much and now I know I only want to lose weight because I want to have a child, not because I want to look a certain way.
    /essay :D xxx

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    1. Mrs D I so hear you. Now Ive finally accepted that I will never be a skinny minnie and that actualy i should just take really good care of the body I have, Ive dropped a dress size and am really enjoying exercise. I think its because Ive let go of the self hatred and am realising I am quite ok as I am but that having better cardio than a pensioner might be a bonus xx

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  21. Great Post!! I recently read a book about dressing to suit your shape (that I saw a blogger write a great review of) and I was thrown back by the suggestions. I only made it through the little section based on my weight and height (I was so horrified that I had to continue reading that section) and immediately scrapped everything it said and returned to book to the library (so glad I had the sense to check it out before purchasing).

    I am still having a bit of problems with the balance of being happy with the way I am and striving to be healthy. I just haven't been able to find a happy mediu, I get obsessive when working out/ dieting (I am not sure why, it just happens when I start an exercise/diet program) and then when I fail I go completely the other direction and avoid exercise at all cost and eat everything in sight. Do you have any suggestions on that?

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    1. Brandy I spent years in a cycle of dieting/exercising obsessively then doing nothing and eatting the wrong stuff. I decided to do a few things which have helped me. I decided never to go on a diet again. I dieted all through my twenties and basically got fatter and fatter. I decided to do some form of exercise three times a week and to stop eatting crap all the time. Now I eat well, allow myself to enjoy food but am not overeatting and if I fancy cake, I eat cake. the difference is I recognise that I can go into an overeatting cycle so I have a blow out and then the next day just eat sensibly again. Food can be as much of an addiction as drugs, drink etc and working out why you overeat can be helpful but in the short term just be nice to yourself. Dont set silly goals, try and be sensible but dont beat yourself up if you fall off the wagon into a cheesecake. we all do it. Life wont end.

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  22. This is a fabulous post! I love love love it! Count me in for the giveaway :)

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  23. I agree Betty, I cannot abide style rules - they don't factor in colouring, proportions or even occasion. Especially horizontal stripes, I find they make my boobs look bigger and my waist look smaller which can only be a good thing! I always flick straight past Gok Wan’s cliché style tips - when did shoe boots elongate ones leg? xx

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    1. ha ha shoe boots also need to go on the bonfire

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  24. I would LOVe to enter this competition Betty, but as I am a size 24, the lovely dress won't fit me. However, I AM enormously inspired by your incitement to trash the fashion 'rules' and will be wearing whatever I dam-well-please from now on! Cheers!

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    1. Hi Lovely-do not worry. The Sohos team are rather lovely and Im sure will offer an alterernative such as shoes or accesories if you win x

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  25. great post and great dress...have to win it (otherwise I will buy it anyway lol)

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  26. Oh my word that dress is totally FABULOUS! I think I am in love with it. I am checking out Soho's site now, payday is soon, this could be a bad thing though lol.

    I would love to join in the competition too please

    Raven xo

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    1. ha ha the stuff on Sohos is yummy. Dont forget that discount code x

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  27. hi betty
    thanx to you im thinking of starting a blog too, as not many dutch gals dare to dress diffrently in a bigger size!

    im gonna start working less hours so maybe im gonna do it in my spare time!

    love your blog! (and would love to win the dress!)

    Bonny

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    1. ooh yes start a blog-its great fun xx

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  28. I just discovered your blog - LOVE IT!! - we need more women like your fabulous self telling us to love ourselves not matter what size we are. The dress is beautiful xx

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  29. "whatever your size OWN IT"

    Word.
    Fabulous post, as usual. I do love this blog! :)

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  30. What a brilliant post! I echo Flo above - that quote is inspirational :) Have followed and liked :)

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  31. What a fab post! I've spent most of my adult life following the plus size rules but for the last 2 years I've thought sod it!!! I tried on a dress for uniform a few months ago & one of my colleagues said it made me look big & hippy! I regretted buying in it so when it came in another design I snapped it up...... I'am big & hippy.... get over it!!!
    I feel great when I wear it & get lots of positive comments. Never again shall I shy away from such things :) x

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    1. Joe, it's awesome seeing you in a dress and you look great!!!x

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  32. Very inspirational, Betty Bee! Fed up with seeing girls my age starve themselves just because they don't like the dress size they're wearing. If you look great and feel healthy, who cares? :)

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  33. Looking lovely as always Betty Bee! I love my 50's dresses, but I also love wearing a nice tunic top sometimes! Thats a gorgeous dress but up to a size 20 is barely plus size!

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  34. I used tunic tops simply as an example of the "types" of clothes which are deamed suitable for plus sized figures. If you rock a tunic then all power to you elbow. Its all about having choice and not feeling pressured to wear certain things to cover up. I hear you about the dress only going up to a size 20, Maybe if enough ladies request it they will source more sizes.Do not worry. The Sohos team are rather lovely and Im sure will offer an alterernative such as shoes or accesories if you win x
    P.S This dress is actually quite generous as well as it has a elasticated back so i went down a dress size so i reckon the size 20 may well fit a 22.

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    1. Its really nice of them to offer anything for us to win, even nicer of you to let complete strangers win! :) Because of you I tried on a top with horizontal strips! It wasn't right for me but I wouldn't of even bothered trying if it wasn't for you.

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  35. I do wear a lot of black but that's because I have goth tendencies, not because I'm trying to look slimmer. And I rock my cleavage with low cut tops because hello, it's one of my best features.

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    1. Im also a bit of an old goth and love to rock some black too, I also love to chuck some pattern and colour in the mix as well. You are a girl after my own heart-it is all about the cleavage ha ha

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  36. You look AMAZING! I am just starting to have the confidence to get out of my wide leg trouser+ t-shirt combo, once I get more I am so getting some dresses like that and will wear them with a smile on my face!

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  37. luv'd the post ...will have to put it into practice especially here in Italy .
    that dress is to die for
    ciao
    joan in italy

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  38. I never conform to what fashion dictates and often get told I look smaller than my size 20 frame. I have never wore typical 'fuller figure clothes' too generic, too boting. Wear what makes you feel good thats my advice.

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  39. that should obviously say 'boring' and not 'boting' .... i put it down to first time posting nerves!!

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  40. Your blog is really inspirational; having started to lose weight (for health reasons) and being again able to wear my pretty 50's skirts and dresses I realise how much confidence I had lost the bigger I became and ended up shrinking into myself, apologising for myself all the time. I am lucky that I can sew and have always made a lot of clothes for myself and close friends as I don't know what I would have worn otherwise! Keep up with the confidence boosting blogging - reading your page makes me feel less like a shrinking violet and more like the person I was years ago x

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  41. Yet another fabulous post, you're an inspiration to us all. I tend to wear a fair bit of black to cover up my not so favourite body parts, but where's the fun in that? Without colour we'd be miserable. We're all human, if we're happy in our clothes it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks. If they want to judge then let them. Big or small, we are who we are and its our personalities and nature that define us, not our clothes.
    PS Really hope I win the dress, they're all fab.
    xx

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  42. You do realise that you have made all us plus sized (never understood that expression, you are a size, what ever...is there a minus size?! Lol) women feel absolutely wonderful and we may yet take over the world?! :))) Ha, at least the world we live in, smile at people we don't even know, go in to shops wearing our confidant smiles, carry ourselves in a brilliant assured manner etc etc etc. well, the list goes on and you are a true diamond!
    Personally, I feel so much better and more self accepting, after having found your wonderful blog and look forward to each new instalment.
    I have been kept far too busy the last couple of weeks (life-slow down!) and though I have read your blog, I have not commented. And I do like to leave a comment, it's nice to just be friendly and supportive.
    Have a wonderful weekend! Xx

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  43. I often try to ditch those rules. I just dont have confidance in my own decisions and rarely have anyone to go shopping with :(

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  44. I absolutely LOVE that dress, and I am trying hard to embrace our love yourself policy, struggling with being bigger than I was pre-baby!

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  45. soo lovin that dress!! i think we def should always wear what we love:)

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  46. I love this post in so many ways.
    Thank you so much for sharing - I for one couldn't give a hoot, If I like it, I'll buy the dress/top/coat.
    I LOVE Hellbunny dresses too!

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  47. I'm finally learning to wear what makes me feel good, and not what 'society' thinks I should wear. I LOVE this dress.

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  48. Are your U.S. fans eligible to win the give-away item? If so, count me in!

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  49. Great giveaway! Consider me entered, Liked the FB page and follow your fantastic blog.

    Sera McDaid
    www.theagoraphobicfashionista.com
    seramcdaid@gmail.com


    You look stunning xx

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  50. great post, love your attitude,
    want that dress!!!!

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  51. Great post. I've felt at my happiest since I went vintage: retro clothing seems to suit me far better and I'm more confident. Gorgeous dress, you look lovely in it.

    @iwasgobby

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  52. I'm plus size and spend most of my time wearing all black in an attempt to hide but really I just feel drab and unhappy. I found your post really inspiring, you look so stunning, I would love to have that confidence. I am so glad I found your blog. xx

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  53. What a great post. I used to wear all black as I thought it made me look slimmer. But I prefer wearing dresses with patterns now. About the only thing I will wear that is black is my leggings (only if the dress or skirt seems a bit short).

    Beautiful dress that you are wearing (off to take a look at the website now)...quick hide my credit card!!

    ~x~

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  54. I LOVE this dress!!!!!
    I ditched the style rules in my teens, i think its because i always like to do the things im told not to do!! If i like something im going to wear it and i dont care what anyone else thinks!!!!
    Great blog - thank you xxx

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  55. Yay! I'm with you on wearing what we want & LOVE (though some days this blooming awful weather just stuffs that up!) thank you for being an inspiration & for all these wonderful websites I hadn't found before for scumptious dresses - I just need to find some new decent bras now to go with them! :D x

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  56. Brilliant post, thank you. I'm feeling the urge to try something other than black -although I sometimes try brown for summer!Just looked at their website and am sooo tempted. Perhaps it's time for a butterfly to emerge - or maybe just a more colourful caterpillar - but that would be progress, right?!

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  57. Count me in! Breaking the rules is how I learn the most about dressing myself--how to do it and feel good and comfortable, not hidden. I look AWESOME in stripes, thank you.

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  58. Great blog as ever - I have my own set of rules! today this included buying an figure (size 16, great boobs....) hugging bright red dress - a similar black one made me look dull, dull, dull....and yep horizontal stripd top ( OK I admit kinda tunic'y to wear with comfy legging when mooching at home ...)

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  59. Good point well made! we need to dress for who we are not how other people would like us to dress!

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