Monday, 28 May 2012

Learning To Love Yourself Little By Little

Learning self acceptance when it comes to your appearance is an issue which many people regardless of shape or size struggle with. Whether you are ultra curvy, willowy or somewhere in the middle its often one of our biggest challenges-turning off the inner monologue which lists our imperfections when we look in the mirror.
Stop Listing Your "Imperfections"
I was reminded of this recently when I was doing hair and make up at one of my Vintage Pamper events. I was working on a beautiful girl, applying make up and when I asked how she would like her hair doing she told me under no circumstances did she want her ears on show, she "hated" them, she reiterated how awful they were and became slightly agitated at the thought of them being on show. I dutifully obliged and she went off looking all kinds of vintage fabulous with her shell likes discretely covered. In the process of doing her hair I looked at her ears and they were... perfectly normal. In fact as ears go they were rather fine indeed. That didn't matter though, in her head they were unattractive and this dictated how she wore her hair and was an obvious source of embarrassment.
Can you trace where your dissatisfaction with your appearance began?
Dissatisfaction with our appearance can sometimes be traced back to childhood (name calling in the playground or by siblings) or can grow as our figures change or it dawns on us that we don't appear to fit the conventional "ideal" of what it is to beautiful.Whatever the cause it can seriously blight our existences and I think is very damaging to the psyche if left unchecked.
One approach which I think can work wonders in how you view yourself is to focus very strongly on the parts of you that you do like.
Create some mental lists of all your good points-readdress the balance
With the same attention to detail you spend looking at yourself and pulling at your muffin top and pinching your bingo wings take a really long hard look at what parts of you are actually quite lovely and lavish them with attention.
If you have graceful wrists, start wearing mid length sleeves and rows of bamboo bracelets, a swan like neck adorn it a sparkly heart necklace, tiny waist, invest in some fab belts. 
By beginning to create mental lists of your good points you can drown out the negative voice which tells you "nothing looks good" and instead start to be more  balanced about your overall appearance.
Treat your body like a valued friend. never be cruel,always see the best and help it look fantastic

Never talk about your body in a negative hateful way. Treat it like its your best friend standing in the Primarni changing room.Refuse to listen to the negative critique going and offer its something to wear that looks fantastic and shows off their amazing boobs/bum/legs/arms/neck...scoop up arms of accessories and a pair of pretty shoes and tell them how rockin they look.
Rome wasn't built in a day and learning to like what you see in the mirror can take time but by taking some small steps in acknowledging that you have good points (in fact quite a few) you are part of the way to a much happier relationship with your rather amazing, clever sexy body.

Limited Edition Betty Pamper Tee Shirt Now On Sale
My brand new Betty Pamper tee Shirts cost £15 and are available to buy from here having curves never looked so good!

All content (text, photos and other) are the property of Betty Pamper (aka Perelandra Beedles) unless otherwise stated. Please refrain from copying any material without recognition of the author and a link to the source on this blog


  1. I would love the chance to win the beautiful necklace. I am already a follower of your blog. Sue x

  2. I'd love to win the gorgeous sparkly Jubilee necklace, and I follow your blog x

  3. That struck such a chord with me, my best friend teases me endlessly about my obsession with making sure my bingo wings are covered at all times even in sweltering temps (i have even looked for tankinis with sleeves...i kid you not lol) so having read thia I'm gonna heed your good advice & focus on the 'not so shocking' bits of me, hopefully i might even think i dont look sooo bad someday
    thanks again ;)

  4. Hi just wanted to say that I found this post inspiring I've always struggled with the way I look. I doubt there is anyone who is completly happy about the way they look but I am going to use your advice and make the best of what I've got. Sadly the world is looks orientated and people do judge you on you're appearance but I do believe that its what's inside that counts and being an individual

  5. Another beautiful and inspiring blog Betty! I think this can apply to everyone and especially us ladies with fluctuating weight - either slim or curvy I never love the way I look but with your advice I am sure I can start to love the good bits and hide the less good! Oh, and the necklace would look lovely on me!!!! ;)

  6. Thank you for the great advice, think I will start following it as I am way too negative towards myself.

  7. I completely agree with what you say. I have always been way too critical of myself. Would love to enter the giveaway please.x

  8. Due to your blogs in the past I have slowly learnt to love myself again, so massive thanks for that! This post again is just wonderful.

    Thanks to you I am buying dresses that I would never of got before as I know I can look good in them just by adding a shrug to make the most of my 2 best assets (ahem), I now happily ignore my wobbly bits that no one can see anyway and love the way I now look.

    Thank you from the bottom of my heart xo

    pee ess Diamonds and Daggers are utterly fabulous, I have a knuckleduster necklace from them in purple sparkles and I always get lots of compliments on it. D&D are just brilliant, can you tell I'm a fan?

  9. Love this post. I made resolutions to try new styles/be more body positive, stuck to them, felt awkward & ugly in the process but I've reached a good point in my life finally at 28! I'll always have off days but mostly I'm happy with how I look which is great because now I'm pregnant & my body is changing! :-)

  10. Fantastic advice. Isn't it a shame we can't just all be happy with ourselves and get on with living.

    Penny Dreadful Vintage

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  12. Oh my why have I not come across your wonderful blog before now - thanks to Va Voom Vintage for the link!! Lots of goodies to read!! Loving all the jubilee celebrations and give aways - gor-juss necklace. Wish I was in the motherland to soak up all the festivities!

  13. What a lovely blog and a lovely post! I, too, found you through Va Voom Vintage. I just added myself to your "followers".
    This post was really thought provoking. I've noticed that lately, when I'm putting makeup on, my thoughts run to "what is wrong and how can I fix it?". Starting today I'm going to focus on "what looks great and how can I accent it?" instead!

  14. I love this post,since starting to dress in my own take on rockabilly/vintage I have felt do much more confident as I've found styles with accentuate my good parts which make me forget my bad parts :)

  15. Great post I love every bit of myself and everyone should feel the same it's just outside pressures that make people feel they aren't tall/thin/tanned enough
    Love yourself and everyone else will too and if they don't well they're not worth your thoughts or time
    I love that lipstick brooch and the necklace so pretty xx

  16. love your post... im a curvy girl and had lots of issues when i was younger, though that had nothing to do with my shape or weight, but because im born with a cleftlip/harelip... i look perfectly normal now but during my teen years it was a huge issue, that i embraced now cause it made me everything i am today! i love me for me!

    x Bonny

  17. Lady, you rock! Love this post, very inspiring. For the last couple of weeks, I have been adapting a new lifestyle; eating healthy, exercising and appreciating my body. It's like you said: focus on your beautiful features and you will start to love yourself. It works! I feel so much better about myself now, then I did a month ago. I hope I'll win this awesome necklace...fingers crossed!

    x Miss Dee

  18. bless you betty, as always, you're an inspiration, even to the less obvious of us "girls" out there...x

  19. I love that you just ooze confidence, that's what makes us beautiful sometimes!

    Pretty necklace too :-)

  20. What an awesome blog betty, very inspiring and honest, its true I love being curvy and am part of an amazing confidence boosting health and fitness plan in my local town, never felt so good for a long time, still curvy but less self critical, keep up the good work, I look forward to your updates and competitions! Rockabilly look is my fave, celebrate boobs,bums n tums :) x

  21. I am one month away from being 41, and have carried the weight of poor self-image all my adult life. The good news? I'm getting there ;)

    Fabulous post.

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  23. I just found out about your blog... I have to say I love its layout, it's just adorable!
    And this is a great post, honestly.
    Gotta love who we are :))

  24. I've being trying to tell my daughter this exact same thing as she suffers from very low self esteem, at age sixteen because she isnt a size ten :/ she finds it hard to fit in and is forever pulling herself down and being mean to herself when actually shes really pretty and a has a gorgeous figure.
    I just found your blog today and I think its fabulous.
    Thats a lovely necklace as well. :D xx

  25. This is a brilliant post and love your blog.
    I have always struggled with body image but i have now reached a point where i have decided stuff it i am who i am and if people dont like it then tough!!

  26. I love your blog Betty. I fully agree with everything you say here. I find it awful the pressure that is put on people about hw they look. Growing up I really struggled with my appearance (far too skinny, clothes hanging on my like sacks, no chest up until I was in my 20s). It is so important to be happy with who you are - but it is such a hard lesson to learn.

  27. Can you enter the competition without "joining"? That's a gorgeous necklace.

    I go through phases where I feel like none of my clothes do anything for me. It's very depressing and I get angry with myself and my wardrobe. It's not so much my body that I'm disappointed in but the fact that I can't find an outfit that does it justice. On those days I'd rather sit around in my pants than get dressed.

    I need the reverse of Gok's show - "How to look good clothed".

  28. The winner of the fab necklace is Lisa Heenan. Congratulations Lisa. Please e-mail me at with your address so I can post out your prize. xx

  29. Never truer words spoken! i'm guilty of body hatred, always looking at my flabby tummy and less-than-toned upper arms. why can't I see the good bits, or forgive myself for not being a size 10? after all, i'm 53 now so I can't possibly expect to look the same as I did in my 20's. after reading your blog I promise to be kinder to myself and to thank my body for supporting me in my daily life.


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