Wednesday, 24 June 2015

The illness of the easily distracted: ICBA Syndrome

Some days I have to fight really hard not to succumb to the terrible life sapping, emotional crippling condition known as “I can’t be arsed” syndrome (or ICBA as its commonly referred to by its legions of suffers). This is a behavioural tic seen most often in the self-employed but striking many others especially when housework, form filling or other boring tasks loom.
I simply can't be arsed
My symptoms sometimes vary in their severity but will usually follow a similar pattern.
Watching reruns of old programmes on 4OD in an attempt to avoid a particularly depressing task. During one particularly bad spell I did the whole first series of No Angels in a day-I was if I remember rightly avoiding a massive pile of ironing (this is often a trigger for ICBA syndrome)
Spending far too long on social networking sites. When you have wasted half an hour flicking idly through someone you hardly knows holidays snaps rather than doing your tax return you may well be suffering from ICBA syndrome.

“Busying “yourself with vaguely pointless minutia. These can include lining up toiletries neatly in your bathroom cabinet, matching up socks in the laundry or (as displayed during one particularly bad episode)  “cleaning up” your sky plus programs list even when you have only used up thirty percent of your limit.

I woud love to help but i simply can't be arsed

“I can’t be arsed” syndrome can strike anybody regardless of class, race or religion. Having suffered from attacks for as long as I can remember I now have a few tried and tested methods for recovery.

I allow myself an hour of gentle non-demanding activity or to use the correct term “titting about” This is a good way to ease yourself into whatever it is which has triggered an attack.
After my final cup of tea and much like pulling off a plaster I force myself to get to the task in hand. It’s imperative that all distractions are removed to fully recover. Close your social networking browsers, better still if doing a non computer orientated task turn off the laptop and if need be hide it. Turn off the radio especially anything which may be described as “debate” you will get dragged in and decide you simply “must” ring Jeremy Vine to contribute to the raging argument about the lesser spotted sparrow menacing our bird boxes. Take yourself away from other diversions such as food, cat stroking or deadheading the roses and JUST GET ON WITH IT!!!!
Next support meeting for ICBA anonymous will take place probably at about the same time I have a deadline. See you then!




 

                                          

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7 comments:

  1. I LOVE THIS! It has caught me right in the grips of ICBA syndrome! I have so much to do, and I really mean SO MUCH!!! and it's not as if the stuff I have to do is boring even, it's just simply that... ICBA - so... tea drunk... logging out.... right now.... ;)

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  2. ha ha ha....i am stuck too right now. need to finish off the article for Vintage Life mag (deadline is today!!!) and Ive been up all night poorly so really need sleep...and what am i doing? flicking through blogs and bloody twitter! xx

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  3. Yeah there's a name for it..... i thought I was just being lazy lmao......... better follow the advice and get back to work :0)

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  4. Haha.... thank you for diagnosing me! I feel much better now I know it has a name xx

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  5. Its lovely to meet fellow sufferers of this often quite dibilitating disease. meet you for a coffee and a jammy dodger at 3pm ha ha

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  6. Perfect just what I needed. Here I am with an important pile of paperwork to deal with sitting on my desk. What am I doing...catching up with blogs, and facebook!!!! Thank you for the timely cure to this syndrome...AKUTA (A Kick Up The A***).

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  7. Instead of answering all the client emails I am reading articles on how not to dick about..yep...yep

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