Tuesday, 23 May 2017

Rejecting The Good Fatty Trope

Today the sun is shining, the weather here in West Kirby is glorious and having injured my ankle a week or so ago, I am finally feeling well enough to take advantage and go for a stroll.

I owe you no explanation about the state of my health

Its been a really interesting experience being a visibly fat woman with a limp. I've heard from fellow plus size babes with mobility issues how they face daily discrimination, but its been an odd sensation to experience it myself. 

No more playing the role of the "acceptable fat"

I am fortunate, my injury will heal but it has been such an eye opener. Over the last few weeks I have had pushchairs rammed into my heels when I was taking too long to navigate a narrow pavement, received eye-rolls when I had to ask for a seat somewhere as I was in so much discomfort and have generally found a marked lack of sympathy when trying to go about my daily business with a strapped up leg and a face full of pain.
I understand that it can be easy to feel victimized, when in fact people are just busy and have their own shit going on, but I have undoubtedly felt more than the faint whiff of fat shaming as I've waddled along with my ankle strapped up.

I owe you nothing

Its an experience which has made me realise how I have (unwittingly) built my confidence by tapping into the "Good Fatty" trope. 
On an intellectual level I may have always insisted that I don't feel the need to add a caveat to my fatness (I'm fat but healthy, I'm fat but live an active life) but the reality is that since developing  a pronounced limp I have felt some of my hard won defenses fall away. 
I have felt my body "take up space" in a  way I didn't before, I have felt judged on a whole new level and rather than laughing away this narrow mindedness I have wanted to challenge it. I have wanted to tell people my limp is as a result of clumsy child syndrome not of being impaired due to my size (which shames me because so what if it was?)
 Having prided myself on how few effs I give about the opinion of others I have craved a right to reply. 

Never explain

I don't necessarily think every negative thing that happens to you is a lesson, but in this case I think the universe has handed me a great big dollop of knowledge (along with cold spray, bandages and pain meds) 
Body positivity ( a term that seems to be increasingly losing meaning as it is co-opted to sell clothes that mainly don't fit fat people) is now in its second phase. The Good fatty trope may have made advertisers more comfortable using plus size models in campaigns but take away the commerce and its actually a noose around our necks. 
Having always been so incensed by the assumption that as fat woman I was unhealthy, I have taken on the role of the "Good fatty" without even realising I was doing it.
My rush to always counter fat prejudice withe examples of my fitness, happiness and joie de vivre, is I think both harmful and counter productive. I owe nobody anything. 

A healthy white mobile fat body needs to stop being the gold standard of how we are represented. When we as plus size women feel the need to work through pain, or over emphasise our emotional or financial success we pay a fat tax that should never have been applied (perhaps in response to all the times we are told we cost the NHS millions, whilst avoiding doctors due to that very same shaming)
I'm rejecting the Good fatty Trope and so should you. The message of "All Bodies Are Good Bodies" may require us presenting versions of fatness that wont inspire people to buy a lipstick or a coat but it may actually create a climate where the term Body Positivism is more than just a slogan on a deodorant advert.


Brand New "'Fat Club " Design  available  only  at  Nicky Rockets

All content (text, photos and other) are the property of Perelandra Beedles unless otherwise stated. Please refrain from copying any material without recognition of the author and a link to the source on this blog

Friday, 19 May 2017

My Lottery Win Dreams Are Pink & Puggy

Most of us have played the "what would I do if I won the lottery game" imagining the changes we would make, the things we would buy if our numbers came up. I'm certainly no different. Often over time these dreams change but When I think about what I would do now, if for instance I won at the Powerball, my aspirations from ten years ago are pretty much the same. 

The House I Would Buy
Yes this is actually my house

Ten years ago Baba was only six months old, I was on maternity leave and I was overseeing new cupboard doors being hung on the old kitchen units (upcycling for the win) If I hit the Lotto jackpot tomorrow I genuinely think I wouldn't buy a new home. Instead I would get the loft converted into a studio for Nicky to paint in, would finally get the bathroom replaced and might get a new telly to replace the SD brick in our living room. I love where I live, the community, the fact Baba can walk to school, and rather than leaving my little sanctuary would simply give it a make over, pay off the remaining mortgage and carry on loving it. 

A Crystal Sink

Yes I know this is possibly the most impractical sink ever created and yes I would ensure the crystal was sourced responsibly, but let me have my lotto win dream. This is the sink I would like to wash my face in every morning and if my numbers came up its the one I'm getting.

All The Rescue Pugs

Since Mister Truffles joined our family I have been lucky enough to attend quite a few events by various pug charities. Pugs often suffer from lots of health problems due to how they have been bred (look cute, can't actually breathe) its a big issue and not one for this post but if I had excess income I would definitely spend some of it looking after as many of the unwanted pugs as possible and trying to help create meaningful change in the breeding practises of these lovely animals. Charity would play a big part in my lottery win dreams. I'm always keen to support charities that help vulnerable children and with the economy as terrible as it is would also love to do more to help the homeless on Merseyside. The food bank near me would be getting a lot of Tesco deliveries!


Book stores are my happy place (followed swiftly by record shops, yes we still have some of those in Liverpool) While I adore my kindle for when I go away or I'm travelling, the excitement of buying new books, breaking the spine, sniffing the paper smell and becoming vaguely giddy at what lies in side the pages is definitely something I would love to indulge more. My lottery win would probably be a great boost for Waterstones.

A Figero car With A Hybrid Engine

I have always loved the Nissen Figeros. I think they are discontinued but you still see the odd one around in mint green, pastel pink or duck egg blue. If money was no object I would gift Fifi the Fiat to one of my sisters, and get a Figero specked out with a Hybrid engine. Cute and eco friendly. Perhaps in this instance greed could be good.

A Pink Typewriter

I have always dreamt of a pink typewriter. There is something so satisfying about the clunk of the keys and the thought of having the time to write on something that requires ribbons and tippex really appeals to me. Its not a diamond I know but for me this would be so much better.

So those are my lottery win dreams. What would yours be?


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Saturday, 13 May 2017

Hug A Hoodie

I'm really loving pleated skirts at the moments. Its a trend that's been around for a while and the combination of luxe fabrics and the very wearable length (mid calf for the win) means you can have these skirts in the most extravagant fabrics and still look perfectly acceptable walking around Tesco.

This colbolt blue pleated skirt with stripe waistband is just perfect for channelling this trend. Its by the Limited Collection at Yours which is fast becoming one of my favourites. I could easily wear every piece from there.

The black sheer mesh hoodie is also by Yours Limited collection and I absolutely love it. its actually quite long (I have tucked it in here) and would be perfect in the evening with just a bra underneath. This being the middle of the day I have chickened out and put a vest underneath. 

I'm quite enjoying having a little hood to wear. It makes me feel quite cool in a rocky sort of way. "Adrian"

Size wise both these items are true and go up to a size 30-32. I'm calling this look "Fat Sport Luxe" I feel quite well put together considering its such a low key outfit.


Brand New "'Chunky And Funky " Design  available  only  at  Nicky Rockets

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Wednesday, 10 May 2017

All That Glitters...Vegan Glitter Eyeshadow Review

I absolutely love glitter eye shadows, the more pigmented the better. As always my quest is to find cruelty free versions of my old favorites and this week I've discovered a rather lovely glitter eye shadow gel which is twinkly and kind to animals.

Its from Flawless Beauty and is part of a beautiful set consisting of three stunning glitter eyeshadow gel pots and an eye shadow brush for perfect application.

Each set includes three beautiful shades Enchanted which is a Metallic Teal 
Iced which is Metallic Pale Blue and Dusk which is a Holographic Dusky Rose.
I'm wearing Dusk in these photos and as you can see its very wearable. I've just added it to my lid over a fairly neutral eye shadow base and its twinkly but subtle which is perfect. For a more dramatic look you can simply add more.

Created with HD cosmetic grade glitters the glitter is ready to apply so no adhesives or glues are needed

One thing I really like about these glitter gels is that they don't feel scratchy on the lids at all. They are enriched with soothing aloe and seaweed extract to condition skin and are suitable for all over body use

In terms of staying power its pretty good too. As a gel you do get the dreaded crease build up after a few hours but the good news is there is no glitter fallout (especially good if like me you wear contact lens)
The sets are £15,handmade in small batches at the Flawless beauty workshop in North WalesCruelty free and Vegan they contain no sulphates or parabens 


Brand New "'Fat Club " Design  available  only  at  Nicky Rockets

All content (text, photos and other) are the property of Perelandra Beedles unless otherwise stated. Please refrain from copying any material without recognition of the author and a link to the source on this blog

Sunday, 7 May 2017


Let me introduce our latest Tshirt.  Ladies and Gentlemen – FAT CLUB  A  homage to the anti-establishment anti-hero Tyler Durden from Fight Club. 
The original Fight Club had only one rule  we don't talk about Fight Club  
At Fat Club we have decided on three rules for the price of admission and we are invoking no code of silence.

#1. First rule of FATCLUB – Be Your Best Self

You don't need to try and fit into some cookie cutter mould when it comes to your size and weight. You are not obligated to look a certain way to make other people happy. Be your best self, not a projection of other peoples demands. Wear what makes YOU feel good. Adhering to prescribed ideals of beauty are not a debt we owe for identifying as women. 

#2. Second rule of FATCLUB – F@*K the Haters

Do not allow those who view you as less than human because of your dress size rent any space inside your head. These people would happily see you hack off your insides to look thinner, they think disordered eating, poor mental health, bad self care are all the price fat people should pay to literally fit in with their world order. They have been asked to leave politely-they stayed, no more good manners.

#3. Third rule of FATCLUB – No Discrimination

The membership policy of Fat Club is very clear. Anyone can join regardless of size but we tolerate NO DISCRIMINATION. No skinny shaming, no gender bias, no homophobia, feminism must be intersectional, no abelism, no CIS white agendas, you get the picture. Be cool.

Your Life, Your Rules – ‘Viva La Fatclub’

Brand New "'Fat Club " Design  available  only  at  Nicky Rockets


All content (text, photos and other) are the property of Perelandra Beedles unless otherwise stated. Please refrain from copying any material without recognition of the author and a link to the source on this blog

Thursday, 4 May 2017

Ditching "Magic Knickers "And Embracing My Magic Body

The journey to self acceptance, when you are a fat woman living in a society that reveres thinness, can have several "eureka`" moments.

Mine have included 

  • stumbling across the Plus size blogger world about six years ago (I felt like Indiana Jones uncovering the arc of the covenant-I had heard fat women who liked themselves existed, but had never glimpsed one in the wild) 
  • Not wearing cardigans when its hot to "cover up my arms" (the years I spent  sweating in the middle of summer because I thought my upper arms weren't fit for public consumption) 
  • And recently I hit another milestone. Ditching shape wear.

A big belt and an even bigger handbag-the props I once required to feel confident enough to post pictures of myself on a blog
It happened without fanfare, or any examination on my part but I realised the other day I never wear shareware  or control pants anymore.
Now before I continue let me make one thing clear, this is not in anyway a criticism on anyone who enjoys shape wear. If popping on a pair of Spanx makes you feel able to navigate this fatphobic universe more easily, if you simply just like how you look in control underwear then that's wonderful. One persons personal revolution does not have to come at the expense of judging people who walk a different path. That is a route I decided long ago held no appeal for me.
The reason it feels significant to me is that I always felt very self conscious if I wore something fitted without shape wear  Although I understood on an intellectual level that shape wear didn't stop me being a visibly fat woman, I was still buying in to the idea that I looked "better" if I "smoothed my lumpy bits"

Uncomfortable shape wear and the knotted cardigan, the armour I felt I had to wear to combat Fatphobia
Viewing my body as a "problem to be solved" came from a lifetime of conditioning. I know how difficult it can be to quiet the voices that tell you that you "take upon too much space" or "would be attractive if you only lost some weight" These voices aren't just the ones in our heads, but are often real conversations, insults shouted at you from cars, comments left on Instagram photos or concerned" observations made by well meaning but, ultimately ignorant friends or family. 

Shapewear to deal with my perceived "problem areas"
Yesterday after having a perfectly great, normal time living my life I realised I was wearing a very fitted dress, my VBO was on full display and I hadn't given it a single thought. Not one. Even two years ago I would have spent what was a very warm day wearing uncomfortable "magic knickers" and to no longer feel I need that feels really significant.

Mastering my inner demons and ditching the shape wear

I read a statistic that said it takes 10'000 hours to become a mastercraftsman. That to really harness a skill you have to keep applying yourself day in, day out. Whilst not quite ready to graduate from the body positivity academy I believe I am on my way and oddly my underwear has become a representation of my progress. 
I know I owe a debt to the bloggers, fat activists and campaigners who fill my twitter time line with inspiration and strength (often in the face of extreme harassment and hate) and I am thankful to everyone of them.
I no longer need "magic knickers" my body is magic all on its own.


Brand New "'Boobi Fett " Design  available for one day (May The 4th of course)  only  at  Nicky Rockets

All content (text, photos and other) are the property of Perelandra Beedles unless otherwise stated. Please refrain from copying any material without recognition of the author and a link to the source on this blog

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